“You’re trying to get people to overhaul their lives”
I was having a “let’s get to know each other” coffee with someone I’d only said hello to at a couple of networking events. We were ten minutes into our conversation when she said something that stopped me in my tracks: It sounds to me like you’re trying to get people to overhaul their lives. […]
I have to have all the answers
When’s the last time you said, “I don’t know”? Has it been awhile? Do your think admitting you don’t know signals weakness? Do you fear saying I don’t know makes you look less competent or even stupid? Going through life with the mindset you should have all the answers is asking for trouble. You’re one question […]
Are you thinking of the wasted years?
The other day someone shared, I hate being a CPA, but that’s what my degree is in and I’ve worked in the field for 8 years already, so I really can’t make a change. Oh, the disheartening weight of that mindset. This type of thinking is a cognitive misstep that behavioral economists call “sunk-cost fallacy”. […]
The present would be perfect IF…
Lately I’ve been trying on this mindset: The present is perfect. I have to admit, I’m still practicing this one, still wrapping my mind around it. Because there’s a part of me that wants to say, Yeah, but… The present would be perfect IF… It’s a whole other thing to say the present is perfect—regardless of […]
Enough with the self-imposed obstacles
I was working with a client who has wanted to write a novel for the past decade. She’s had numerous starts and stops along the way—many times when she managed to sit down and produce a page or two, but then lost steam. The novel had resurfaced again in our coaching, and we explored whether […]
Magnify what’s best. Focus on what’s next.
Sometimes you encounter a mindset so powerful it seems like adopting it would give you superpowers. That’s how I feel about this one: Magnify what’s best. Focus on what’s next. This is the Swiss army knife of mindsets. Multi-purpose, and handy to have in any situation. It can be applied anytime, anywhere. I’ve pulled this […]
Are your words working for or against you?
Someone says, I have a problem when they could just as easily have said, I have an opportunity. Problem versus opportunity. Which is the more empowering use of language? I used to find myself habitually saying I’ll try before some task or activity: I’ll try to get to the gym today. I’ll try to find time to […]
Her default setting: How can I contribute?
I have a friend who has a mindset wired for contribution. Whatever the day, whatever the circumstance, her default setting is: How can I contribute? It’s a marvel to witness the world she creates through this lens of contribution. When she meets someone new. How can I contribute to connecting with this person? When she […]
I hear a lot of “if only…” and “but, but, but”
I hear a lot of “if only…” and “but, but, but”. What I don’t hear enough of is “and”. If only my husband didn’t travel so much for work, I could go back to school. If only I had more money in savings, I could pursue my passion. If only I had more time, I […]
Dreams are impractical. Or are they?
It hurts my heart when someone says dreams are impractical. Hurts my head and soul too. And I do hear it. At least a couple times a month. Sometimes more. I’ve heard it from clients, workshop attendees, the woman doing my nails, the man seated next to me on the plane. This bleak mindset sometimes […]