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Love Your Life #144: Why are you helping someone dig a hole?

Problems vs. Solutions: problem

Welcome to Love Your Life + Law of Attraction.

Today we’re going to talk about what focusing on the problem has to do with digging a hole.

This episode is perfect for anyone who wants to learn…

  • The phrase I jotted down in a notebook from an Abraham workshop a year ago that is still resonating
  • What’s really happening when your friend calls to complain about her marriage
  • The flawed premise at work when you encourage someone to talk about their problems
  • What I’ve realized is considered “normal” about so many conversations w’re having since my obsession with all things Law of Attraction
  • The two reasons you don’t want to be a sounding board for problems and complaints
  • What you should skip next time someone comes to you with a grievance or worry


“There’s no point in digging a great big deep hole and then helping someone out of it. Don’t dig a hole to begin with.” —Abraham

“It is really not a good idea to encourage your friends to complain about things to you. There is no value in assisting anyone to describe, in detail, their unhappy experiences.” —Abraham

“Every subject is really two subjects, with what is wanted on one end of the stick, and the absence of what is wanted on the other end. Sometimes you are perfect vibrational match to the unwanted end of the stick but you don’t realize it because it feels normal to you. And that is only because it is more usual for you to talk about the problem rather than the solution.” —Abraham

“You never help anyone by being a sounding board for their problems or complaints.” —Abraham

“If you are focused on problems, the Law of Attraction will bring problems to you faster than you can fix them. What you focus on expands.” —Abraham

“Complaining about anything keeps you in the place of refusing to receive the things you’ve been asking for.” —Abraham

“Look forward to where you want to be and spend no time complaining about where you are.” —Abraham

“You can appreciate the relationships around you, but you can’t fix other people’s problems. You can teach by example, but you can’t create their reality for them.” —Abraham


The Law of Attraction: The Basics of the Teachings of Abraham

Manifest with Ease: Law of Attraction Simplified

Law of Attraction Reading List

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