The contrast of life is always clarifying what we want and don’t want, what we like and don’t like.
- Maybe your problem is your husband doesn’t help out around the house, your weight is creeping up on the scale, your mother-in-law drives you nuts, or your finances are a mess.
- Or maybe your problem is you’re single and don’t want to be, you’re a workaholic and it’s impacting your health, your kids argue all the time, or your boss is overly demanding.
The problem is NOT that there are problems per se, but often we get stuck by labeling something a problem and then sitting with it, studying it, scrutinizing it, speaking about it…
Are you the kind of person who tends to focus on the problem or the solution?
We all want to say, Oh, of course, I focus on the solution, but I’m noticing that’s just not the case for most of us.
We are focused on THE PROBLEM. We talk about the problem. We revisit and rehash the problem. We look at the problem from all angles. We talk about the where, when, what, and why of the problem.
- We act as if the more we focus on the problem, the more likely it is to go away or somehow be resolved.
- We act as if talking about the problem is necessary to solving the problem. And it’s not.
Abraham very reassuringly says: “You can’t be in the middle of a life problem without at the same time being in the middle of a life solution.”
Which means at any given moment, for any given problem, there IS a solution. It’s your job to turn your focus in the direction of the solution.
Staying stuck in the problem
So let’s look at a real example of what I mean when I say we stay in the problem. Let’s say you don’t like your job or you’re not engaged in your work. That’s the problem.
So what do you do?
- When you get home from work, do you tell your partner how much you dislike your job? Do you tell stories focused on what you don’t want and don’t like about your work?
- When you get together with friends, do you complain about your boss, your company, your colleagues, your workload—whatever it is that’s bugging you about your work?
- When you go to bed at night, do you ruminate on the problem of not liking your job? When Sunday rolls around, do you dread going into the office because of The Problem—aka: You don’t like your job.
Those are all examples of being focused on the problem rather than the solution.
“The realization that something is not as you want it to be is an important first step, but once you have identified that, the faster you are able to turn your attention in the direction of a solution, the better, because a continuing exploration of the problem will prevent you from finding the solution. The problem is a different vibrational frequency than the solution—and all thoughts (or vibrations) are affected by (or managed by) the Law of Attraction.” —Money and the Law of Attraction
Let me unpack that—and emphasize three things.
- The realization something is not as you want it to be is an important first step. Bravo for identifying something you don’t want or don’t like. Kudos to you for identifying the problem.
- The faster you are able to turn your attention in the direction of a solution, the better. Once the problem has been identified, you don’t need to spend any more of your attention or energy there.
- The problem is a different vibrational frequency than the solution. You can’t stay in the problem and solve the problem. Really let that sink in. You can’t access the solution if you’re stuck in the problem.
Imagine the problem is one room of your house. The solution is just down the hallway in another room. It’s right there, available, within reach. But so long as you pace around in the room of the problem, you will never access the solution that’s just over there—a hallway and couple doors away.
I keep that analogy front and center when I feel myself attaching to the problem. I remind myself there’s nothing for me in the room of the problem. I need to leave that room, so to speak, by focusing on what I want, which is the solution.
Now, it’s easy for me to say focus on the solution, not the problem. But how do you do this in the real world, in your real life? How do you do it in practice not theory?
“Align your focus with the solution and not with the problem.” —Abraham
Here are three tips for focusing on the solution rather than the problem.
First, make peace with your problem.
“Make peace with your problem by just letting it sit where it is, and in doing so, the solution must show up. But if you keep examining the problem, talking about the problem, measuring the problem, speaking of the problem—you hold yourself in defiance to the solution that would be there if you weren’t doing that.” —Abraham
Did you catch that? “Make peace with your problem by just letting it sit where it is.” Oh my goodness. This has been new territory for me.
Since my obsession with Law of Attraction, I am learning to make peace with problems by ignoring them altogether. This is night-and-day from my old approach which was two-fold: Think and talk about the problem a lot and effort my way to a solution.
Well, I’m not doing either of those anymore.
“Do you know that when you finally let the problem go, the Vortex will take you in and show you the solution? That’s how it works.” —Abraham
I know that’s tough to swallow. You worry letting the problem go means you’ll be stuck with it forever. Perhaps you think it’s lazy or irresponsible to just let the problem sit where it is.
So you keep the problem alive, dominant in your vibration, by thinking about it ad nauseam and talking about it every chance you get.
- How you have this really big problem.
- How you’re justified to feel bad because of this problem.
- How if only you didn’t have this problem, you could be happy.
Be honest: Are you feeling a little sheepish right now because you recognize this behavior I’m describing? Believe me, I’m raising my hand—been there and done that.
It’s almost like I took a special delight in telling the story of my problem to someone. Or if I were thinking about my problem a lot—worrying, ruminating, analyzing, overthinking—if I were doing that, I was somehow “working” on my problem.
And simultaneous to all this misguided exploration of the problem, I would also effort my way to a solution. My mind was on a loop: How do I fix this problem? What do I need to do? How, what, how what…
None of that behavior equates to “Make peace with your problem by just letting it sit where it is.”
So to recap tip #1: Make peace with your problem.
Second, let your emotions guide you to the solution.
“The only way to solve a problem is to look toward the solution. And, when you are looking in the direction of the solution, you always feel an improvement in your emotions.” —Abraham
If you’re unsure how to tell whether you’re focusing on the problem or the solution, just notice how you feel.
Your emotions will tell you all you need to know.
- If you’re feeling hopeful or empowered, you’re focused on the solution.
- If you’re feeling disappointed and discouraged, you’re focused on the problem.
- If you’re feeling positive expectation, you’re focused on the solution.
- If you’re feeling pessimism, you’re focused on the problem.
To get in the frequency of the solution, you need to feel good. That’s why Abraham says: “Don’t look for the solution. Look for the alignment. It will bring the solution.”
When you get in alignment, you get yourself in the frequency of the solution.
But it’s amazing how often we gripe and complain and feel doubt and worry about a problem—and somehow expect to arrive at a solution from this lousy-feeling place.
It doesn’t work that way. Solutions are accessed from an aligned state.
“Focusing upon a solution brings you positive emotion; focusing upon a problem brings you negative emotion. While the differences are subtle, they are very important, for when you are feeling positive emotion, you are attracting into your experiences that which you want. When you are feeling negative emotions, you are in the process of attracting that which you do not want.” —The Law of Attraction Cards
So to recap tip #2: Let your emotions guide you to the solution.
Third, anticipate and allow the solution.
“Be less intensely focused on the problem or the question, and feel more anticipation of the solution and the answer.” —Abraham
Don’t you love that? Feeling anticipation of the solution to your problem, of the answer to your question.
Which would you prefer?
- To feel the low energetic state of the problem or the high energy of the solution?
- Do you want to feel your problem or do you want to feel the solution?
- Do you want to feel bogged down and mired in the problem or feel anticipation, positive expectation, and optimism of the solution?
When you stay intensely focused on the problem or the question, you keep yourself in a holding pattern of the problem. The confusion, disappointment, worry, upset, insecurity, blame of the problem.
In fact, I want you to notice the difference in simply being aware of something you would rather be different or not have in your life—say those extra ten pounds you’ve put on—versus elevating those extra ten pounds to a problem.
I’m suggesting rather than label situations and circumstances a problem, you simply notice that you would rather have a different situation or circumstance—and then go immediately in the direction of whatever that “different” is. Because that is the solution.
I encourage you to no longer consider an intense focus on the problem as a good thing. Because that’s what some of us are doing. We act as if intensely focusing on the problem is a good thing that puts us on the path to the problem being resolved. It doesn’t.
Feeling anticipation of the solution, on the other hand, puts you squarely on the path to what you really want.
“I am learning that all problems resolve themselves. When you have a problem, a desire exudes forth from you, and Source hears it and answers immediately. Once you remove your attention from the problem, you then allow the solution. Give birth to the question and let it go—and allow the answer to flow.” —The Teachings of Abraham Well-Being Cards
Notice Abraham says “once you remove your attention from the problem”—that was tip #1, right? Where you made peace with your problem.
And then Abraham says you allow the solution.
Allowing the solution necessarily means you’re in alignment because that feel-good state gives you access to the solution. When you’re in alignment, you’re in the same frequency as the solution, and so the solution will flow to you.
- You’ll have an intuitive spark—This is what to do!
- Or resources will appear that you need.
- Or the situation will simply resolve itself.
- Or you’ll see the situation differently and detach from the outcome you thought you needed when you were overly focused on The Problem.
So to recap tip #3: Anticipate and allow the solution.
Here’s your takeaway: Align your focus with the solution, not the problem.
I invite you to play and practice with the three tips.
- Make peace with your problem.
- Let your emotions guide you to the solution.
- Anticipate and allow the solution.
But more than any one tip is simply this: Make the decision to be solution rather than problem focused.
At a fundamental level, this is simply a choice you make.
Do you want to hang out in the energy of complaint and don’t want and poor me or do you want to elevate your energy by focusing on the solution?
My wish for you is you get to the point where you’re just not willing to hang out with the energy of problems.
“When you find the solution and line up with it, the problem disappears.—Abraham