The “findings” from my unscientific study surprise me
Here’s the question on my mind lately: Is busy a choice? So I conducted an informal experiment this week. I paid special attention to what people said when I asked, How are you? Ten of 12 responded with some variation of busy. Oh my gosh, this summer is so busy I can’t catch my breath. I […]
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Thinking the worst and throwing a tantrum
Last week I received news: Something I wanted very badly might not happen. I would like to say I calmly sat down, said the Serenity Prayer, and did the work of teasing out what was in the change category versus the acceptance column. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; […]
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Are you dimming your light in these 33 ways?
I just reread Debbie Ford’s The Right Questions: Ten Essential Questions To Guide You To An Extraordinary Life. Quite simply, I love this book. I first read it back in 2003 and have probably reread it every year since. In addition, I sometimes just pull it from my bookshelf, let the pages fall open, and […]
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Why are you neglecting that part of you?
Is there some aspirational part of yourself you’ve been neglecting? You know what I mean—the part of you that waits for “Someday.” Someday… Someday I’ll get healthy, start a business, find time to express my creativity. Someday I’ll change careers, love myself, take a trip across country. Someday I’ll revive my relationship, write a book, […]
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Are you paying the price of inauthenticity?
The other night Hans came across a great quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson. “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” He knew the quote would resonate because as an INFJ on the Myers-Briggs I place a premium on authenticity. The quote sparked thoughts […]
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Are you sabotaging yourself with limiting beliefs?
Lately it seems there’s an epidemic of limiting beliefs. Has everyone caught a debilitating case of self-sabotage? I can’t… I’m not… It won’t… Limiting beliefs aren’t the only thing preventing you from achieving your goals and creating the life you want, but they certainly play a role. Here’s what I believe: Limiting beliefs hold you […]
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Crisis versus awakening—is there a difference?
Recently I’ve been thinking about the distinction between a midlife crisis and midlife awakening. The nature of my work means this isn’t a new topic. In fact, it’s not unusual for a client to question whether she’s having a midlife crisis. So what’s the difference between crisis and awakening? It seems to me a midlife […]
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Do you feel like a fraud?
It happens at least a couple times a month. Sometimes while mingling at a networking event, other times across the aisle of a plane. Sometimes it happens when I’m meeting someone new for a cup of coffee or it could be while sharing lunch with others at a conference. It happened twice last weekend at […]
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It’s time to ask what is out of harmony or in conflict
Are you feeling friction or failing to make progress toward your goals? If so, do a goal doublecheck by asking these harmony and conflict questions. Harmony Are your goals in harmony with each other? Does the achievement of one goal put another in jeopardy? For instance, a client recently had both a promotion at work and […]
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Are you putting off a crucial conversation?
Do you need to step outside your comfort zone and have a big conversation or ask a big question? Are you living small as you continue to put off having a crucial conversation? “I’m afraid to talk with my boss about where I’m headed with the company. I don’t think I’m going to like what […]
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Slip-ups are just a fact of life
Why is it we expect perfection—from ourselves, from others, from life? What’s that about? As a recovering perfectionist who decided a few years ago to actively fight the controlling dis-ease of perfectionism, one of the most effective strategies I’ve adopted is planning ahead for slip-ups. By “planning ahead” I mean: Expecting them—Slip-ups are going to […]
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Why do we make it so hard?
Why do we make it so hard? The “it” being anything and everything—our daily endeavors, To Do lists, relationships, jobs…our lives. Do we believe we have to struggle and suffer—that it has to be hard—for it to work? For us to succeed? That if we do it the easy way it means we aren’t trying? […]
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Are you all about the worst-case scenario?
Do you regularly steel yourself for the worst? Does your mind take a little information and run with it into the future thinking about negative scenarios? When faced with anything new or outside your comfort zone, do you assume you’ll fall short, it won’t work out, or that something catastrophic will happen? My spouse says […]
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Why are you keeping your goals a secret?
I have a friend, let’s call her Sally, who won’t share her New Year’s resolutions until months into the year…when she confesses her resolution has fallen by the wayside. Three years ago her New Year’s resolution was to stop complaining. How do I know this? Because it slipped out in a conversation in May when […]
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Two reasons I really hate this ad
I really dislike this ad. It bugs me every time I read: We all have to do 10 things at once. Perfectly. I have nothing against L’Oreal or Julianna Margules. But I have a lot against perpetuating the notion that we have to do 10 things at once. Says who? Isn’t it time we stopped buying […]
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