Are you picking up the wrong end of the stick?
Hmmm…you might be wondering what stick I’m talking about.
Abraham says, “Every subject is really two subjects: There is that which you desire, and the lack of it. Often—even when you believe you are thinking about something that you desire—you are actually thinking about the exact opposite of what you desire.” —Ask and It Is Given
Let me give you examples to illustrate that every subject is really two subjects: What is wanted or the lack of what is wanted.
- Let’s take the subject of health. “I want to be well; I don’t want to be sick.” Wellness and illness. Two ends of the same stick.
- Or take money. “I want to have financial security; I don’t want to experience a shortage of money.” Abundance, scarcity. Again, two ends of the same stick.
Are you getting the idea?
“It is like picking up a stick with two ends: One end represents what you do want; the other end represents what you do not want.” —Money, and the Law of Attraction
The reason this is important is because a lot of us are picking up the wrong end of the stick. I see my friends doing it. Family members. Clients. I do it. So I’m probably not going out on a limb to imagine you might be doing it too.
Every subject is two subjects
Every subject is two subjects: What is wanted and unwanted. Very often we think we’re focused on what we want, when, in reality, we’ve got hold of the other end of the stick.
Here’s the problem with that. You are manifesting what you’re in vibrational alignment with. You’re manifesting what you’re in receiving mode for.
“It is possible to be focused in vibrational opposition to what you really desire without knowing you are. It is like the opposite ends of a stick. When you pick up a stick, you pick up both ends.” —Abraham
I just love that analogy because we’ve all literally picked up a stick, right? So we know firsthand it’s impossible to pick up a stick without picking up both ends of it.
When it comes to the subject that Law of Attraction is responding to, it’s really important which end of that stick you’re activating with your vibration. The end of what is wanted or the end of what is unwanted.
So every subject is really two subjects, and you’re always picking up both ends of the stick. But which one is resulting in your life experience? Which end of the stick is showing up for you?
Is it wellness or illness? Is it abundance or scarcity?
It’s always going to be the end of the stick that you’re activating with your emotions and your attention. Not with your words. Not just with what you want. But with how you feel and what you focus on.
The stick called Money
So what does this look like in real life? Let’s say, for instance, you pick up the stick called Money.
You would like more money, more abundance, greater ease around your financial health. Abundance is on one end of that Money stick.
But then here’s what you do. You worry about money. You talk to your sister-in-law about how slow your business has been lately. You complain about your clients. You focus on the extra bills that are due. You worry about the economy. You feel anxious.
“Your anxiety is not warning you of something to come. Your anxiety is alerting you to a vibration that’s happening now.” —Abraham
In my example, it’s very clear which end of the Money stick you’re activating. It’s not the end of more money and abundance and ease. It’s the other end of the stick—of lack, of scarcity, of what is unwanted.
Let’s stay on money a bit longer because I know that’s often an area that comes up with Law of Attraction.
Think about the difference in vibration between these two, which are opposite ends of the stick. I never have enough money vs. I’m looking forward to having more money.
Those are a very different vibrations, aren’t they? I want you to really feel the vibration associated with I never have enough money. Think about what that vibrational offering is going to manifest.
Because have no doubt—that vibration WILL manifest.
“When you are thinking of money in the way that it will come to you, you always feel good. When you are thinking of money in the way that keeps it from coming to you, you always feel bad. That is how you know the difference.” —Abraham
In other words, give your attention to what makes you feel good. Because when you do that, you activate the end of the stick that you WANT to manifest. Whether we’re talking about money, health, relationships or whatever.
Three signs of the wrong end of the stick
It’s important to start paying attention to which end of the stick you’re activating—thereby which end of the stick is going to manifest in your life experience.
Are you unsure which end of the stick you’ve been activating?
Here are three signs you’re activating the unwanted end of the stick:
- First, you stay focused on the problem rather than shifting to the solution. The problem is the unwanted end of the stick.
“If you are focused on problems, the Law of Attraction will bring problems to you faster than you can fix them.” —Abraham
- Second, you complain about what is instead of putting your attention on what is wanted. Obviously whatever you’re complaining about is the unwanted end of the stick.
- Third, you “but” your way to the other end of the stick. So you say what you want, and then negate it with “but…”
- I want to grow my business, but that would mean more hours.
- I want to start an Etsy shop, but I’m not sure how.
- I want to change careers, but worry it’s too late.
- I want to become a public speaker, but don’t want to travel.
“The way you clear unwanted out is by focusing on what is wanted. It is really that simple! And the way you do that is by reaching for more satisfaction in the thought.” —Abraham
Wanted vs. unwanted
Let’s say your relationship with your spouse isn’t what you’d like it to be. Once you know this, what do you do?
- Do you immediately pivot to give your focus and attention to what IS wanted?
- Do you focus on the positive aspects of your spouse and what you do like?
- Do you imagine the relationship you do want—full of love and respect and connection?
Or do you keep revisiting the problem? Do you keep retelling his faults to your friends? Do you keep focusing on his shortcomings and the lack of connection?
“Every subject is really two subjects, with what is wanted on one end of the stick, and the absence of what is wanted on the other end. Sometimes you are a perfect vibrational match to the unwanted end of the stick but you don’t realize it because it feels normal to you. And that is only because it is more usual for you to talk about the problem rather than the solution.” —Abraham
I often see this when I ask someone to tell me about her ideal day or ideal job or ideal relationship. More often than not, I hear a laundry list of just the opposite—all the things she doesn’t want and doesn’t like.
What are you a vibrational match to?
And now, before you say, Oh but that’s not me, I encourage to be curious about whether it might be. Because many of us have gotten into a groove around this focus on what is unwanted. On paying more attention to the absence or lack of what is wanted.
“Continuing to tell stories of shortage only continues to contradict your desire for abundance, and you cannot have it both ways: You cannot focus upon unwanted and receive wanted.” —Abraham
That is golden. You cannot focus upon unwanted and receive wanted.
Remember the context of Law of Attraction. You are manifesting what you’re a vibrational match to. Not the words you’re saying. Not necessarily what you want. But the vibration you are emitting.
You can say, I want abundance or I want good health, but if your vibrational offering is more about the lack of money and the absence of good health, then that’s what you’ll manifest.
“The way to avoid repeating unwanted situations is to talk about wanted situations. Talk about what you do want; and discontinue dialogue about any unwanted experiences, situations, or results.” —Abraham
Start paying attention to how often you talk about and think about what you do not want. You may be very surprised just how pervasive your focus on what is unwanted actually is.
- You say, I want to get a new job. Followed by: I’m so worried I won’t be able to find one.
- You think, I’d really like to be in a relationship. Followed quickly by the thought: I really don’t think there are any good men out there.
- You say, I’d love to start a business. And then you add: I’m not sure I have what it takes.
Those are all examples of picking up the wrong end of the stick.
Pick up the wanted end of the stick
You can choose to give your attention to what is wanted or what is unwanted. You can focus on what makes you happy or what makes you worry. You can choose thoughts that bring you peace or those that cause anxiety.
“Let your point of attraction match your desire and not the absence of it.” —Abraham
Make no mistake: You have a choice about the thoughts you think. You have a choice about the thoughts you feed with your attention versus those you starve.
“Telling many good-feeling short stories throughout your day will change your point of attraction. Just remember that the story you tell is the basis of your life. So tell it the way you want it to be.” —Abraham
Tell it the way you want it to be.
Because here’s the thing: The manifestations in your life will come on the heels of a vibration that’s consistent. Which means a vibration that is consistently activating the “what is wanted” end of the stick.
You are attracting the essence of whatever you are giving your attention to—wanted or unwanted. So where is your attention focused? Which end of the stick?