What-is & Wanted vs. Unwanted: attention

What have you been giving your attention to?

I’ve done a number of podcast episodes about attention, about focus, and yet here we are again. Why is that?

If you take a look at the Love Your Life index, which you can find at Jennifer365.com/index, you will find nearly 50 episodes that are in some way about your attention—and what that has to do with Law of Attraction.

You might think there’s nothing more to say, and in a way you are right. There is probably nothing truly new to say on this subject.

And yet, this is Law of Attraction 101. And it is an area or concept where so many of us know it and get it, and then we absolutely act as if we’ve forgotten all about it.

I”m raising my hand! Because I do that sometimes.

Your attention is everything when it comes to how you feel moment by moment, day by day, and it’s everything when it comes to what you are attracting.

“You create with your every thought. By the universal Law of Attraction (that which is like until itself is drawn), you are attracting the essence of whatever you are giving your attention to — wanted or unwanted.” —Abraham

It’s that last part that’s so key, so absolutely critical to what shows up in your life experience.

You are attracting the essence of what you’re giving your attention to—whether you want it or not.

Too many of us too often are willy-nilly with our attention. We are giving our attention to what we do not want.

We’re focused on this and that and the other, and not discriminating about where we put our focus. We’re thinking about this we want and that we don’t want; we’re talking about this we like and now we are having a long rant about this we don’t like.

Have you complained recently? If so, it does not matter what you were complaining about, you were focused on unwanted. With your words or thoughts of complaint, your attention was squarely on unwanted, and therefore you are attracting the essence of unwanted.

Our focus is everywhere. And so we attract accordingly. It’s a hodgepodge, a mixed bag of manifestations. And it doesn’t have to be that way.

“The most valuable skill or talent that you could ever develop is that of directing your thoughts toward what you want—to be adept at quickly evaluating all situations, and then quickly coming to the conclusion of what you want—and then giving your undivided attention to that. There is a tremendous skill in deliberately directing your own thoughts that will yield results that cannot be compared with results that action can provide.” —Abraham

Deliberating directing your thoughts is very different from that willy-nilly, indiscriminate focus I just mentioned.

And so which one are you doing more of?

  • Are you deliberately directing your thoughts? Are you intentionally choosing your focus?
  • Or are you just putting your attention everywhere, careless with your focus, nonselective?

Often a client tells me that while she knows she should be deliberate in directing her thoughts, she knows she should be selective in what she chooses to focus on, that the way she’s actually showing up in her life is quite different.

While she might start the day with the best of intentions, as the day unfolds and the commute is long and the boss is unhappy and her kid is sick…well, now she’s no longer even remembering to try to be selective. Her attention is simply on what’s in front of her at the moment and depending on the day, that may include a number of not-so-pleasing aspects.

“When you withdraw your attention from those things that are not pleasing, and you put your attention upon those things that are pleasing, those pleasing things begin to become more abundant; and those not-pleasing things become more rare. Until, eventually, those not pleasing things cannot be part of your experience, because you will have eliminated your attraction factor from your vibration… What you think and what you get always matches.” —Abraham

The advice from Abraham is very simple, very straightforward. Again, many of us already know this. 

And yet…are we doing it? As in: Are you withdrawing your attention from those things that are not pleasing? Are you instead putting your attention on things that are pleasing to you?

Like all LoA concepts, it does not matter if you know this. If you could recite this very quote to me. Getting an A+ on the Law of Attraction test, doesn’t make a difference in what shows up in your life experience.

Knowing isn’t enough. It’s whether you are actually doing it, practicing it, embodying it.

Bottom line: Many of us are very much keeping our attention on things that are not pleasing to us. We are thinking about them and talking about them. We are journaling about them.

“Once you’re focused attention has significantly activated a dominant vibration within you, things — wanted or unwanted – will begin to make their way into your personal experience. It is a Law.” —Abraham

Your attention is up to you.

The whole world can be going on around you, in front of you. Your life is happening right now in real time. All of that is true for you, for me, for everyone.

And yet we all still have a choice when it comes to what we give our attention to. In any moment—in every moment—you have a choice.

Think of it in extreme terms—you can be selective or nonselective. You can be intentional or unintentional. You can be deliberate or careless.

The reality for most of us is we are sometimes one, sometimes the other. I am not always 100% deliberate in what I focus on. I can be careless with my attention.

And yet I know this is very bad for manifesting. Because my attention is everything when it comes to manifesting. So my desire, my desired daily LoA practice is that I am mindful and intentional with my attention.

“Give your attention to what makes you feel good, thereby releasing your attention for what makes you feel bad.” —Abraham

So simple again. Sometimes I think we overlook the wisdom because of the simplicity.

You will know whether what you are focused on serves you because of how you feel.

When you are giving your attention to something that makes you feel bad, you are headed in the wrong direction vibrationally.

“So, if it’s something that you want, give it more attention. If it’s something that you don’t want, give it less attention. How do you give something less attention? By giving something else attention.” —Abraham

The question I am most often asked in my coaching, above all other questions, is: How do I give something less attention? In other words, how do I give this unwanted situation or worry or problem in my life—how do I give it less attention?

Abraham is telling us how in such plain language. It’s not complicated. Give something else attention.

That’s it.

Abraham goes on to say: “And start with it all at the earlier, subtle stages. And stop asking yourself to pull your attention away from something with strong momentum.” 

This has been so key to me in my LoA practice.

I used to be someone—this was before I rediscovered Law of Attraction and had this frame and this language—but I was someone who could get on a downward spiral about something unwanted, something I didn’t like, some unwanted problem in my life.

I could get a lot of momentum in that direction because of my continued focus and attention. I would dig in to the situation in my thoughts. I would give the unwanted thing more attention, not less.

And of course, that creates momentum in the wrong direction.

And so Abraham is saying catch it early. Shift your focus early. Don’t want until you’re at the bottom of the emotional scale to take your attention off the unpleasing thing.

Start with the first hint of negative emotion. Start in the earlier, more subtle stages when it will be easy to shift your focus and give something else attention.

“Anytime you feel negative emotion, stop and say: Something is important here; otherwise, I would not be feeling this negative emotion. What is it that I want? And then simply turn your attention to what you do want… In the moment, you turn your attention to what you want, the negative attraction will stop; and in the moment the negative attraction stops, the positive attraction will begin. And – in that moment – your feeling will change from not feeling good to feeling good. That is the process of pivoting.” —Abraham

I want to share a quote that I’ve come across so many times in my years of studying Law of Attraction.

And while I liked it and found it insightful, it never really grabbed me until the other day. It’s one of those times when the student is ready the teacher appears.

And I was really ready to take this in in a more profound way.

“When you come to realize that the way you feel is a product only of what you choose to give your attention to, then you begin to realize that under any and all conditions, you can feel good.” —Abraham


Another way to say that: What you give your attention to causes the way you feel. I’ll say it in even another way: The way you feel is a direct result of where you are putting your attention.

No matter how you want to say it, the bottom line is the same: Your attention matters. Your attention is everything. It is a powerful force.

We would all benefit from recognizing that and using this powerful creative force we have—in a deliberate and intentional way.

You’re always putting your attention somewhere, on something, in one direction or another. Your attention can become your super power when it comes to how you feel and, in turn, the ease with which you manifest what you want.

Know this: You can feel however you want to feel—right now—simply by choosing the focus of your attention.

You can choose to focus on things that make you feel good. You can choose to give your attention to what you like and what is wanted.

Your attention is everything.