“For every pleasing thing, there is an unpleasing counterpart, for within every particle of the Universe is that which is wanted as well as the lack of that which is wanted. When you focus upon an unwanted aspect of something in an effort to push it away from you, it only comes closer, because you get what you give your attention to whether it is something that you want or not. It is up to you to focus upon and attract what is wanted.” —Abraham
Wanted versus unwanted.
Like versus dislike.
Wanted versus the lack of what is wanted.
It really is true, isn’t it?—“For every pleasing thing, there is an unpleasing counterpart.”
- You like this, but you don’t like that.
- You want this, not that.
This is such a simple concept and I imagine we all understand it. And yet, many of us are not using this concept, this understanding, in a way that serves us. And it’s usually because of that focus part.
You get what you give your attention to whether it is something that you want or not.
Too many of us are giving our attention to unwanted, to what we dislike, to the absence or lack of what we want.
Have you complained today—about anything? Then you were focused on unwanted, on what you don’t like.
Have you blamed anyone for anything recently? If so, again, that is focused on what you don’t want.
Have you judged someone or criticized something lately? Yep, same—that’s a focus on what you don’t like.
What about this? Have you been thinking about a problem, perhaps or talking with friends about a problem you’re having at work, or in your relationship, or with your house hunt or some problem related to your kids?
If you’ve been thinking about and talking about a problem, that is focusing an unwanted aspect of your life experience.
“Every subject is really two subjects, with what is wanted on one end of the stick, and the absence of what is wanted on the other end. Sometimes you are a perfect vibrational match to the unwanted end of the stick but you don’t realize it because it feels normal to you. And that is only because it is more usual for you to talk about the problem rather than the solution.” —Abraham
Oh my goodness—this was me before I rediscovered Law of Attraction. I was a perfect vibrational match to the unwanted end of the stick.
As Abraham says, I didn’t realize this because it felt normal. It was the norm for me. I was often focused on one problem or another. Not really the solution, but the problem.
“Continuing to talk about unwanted things will only hold you in those unwanted patterns of attraction.” —Abraham
In other words, you will be holding yourself in the frequency of the unpleasing counterpart. You will be attracting more that is unwanted into your life experience.
It’s really this simple: Your attention to unwanted can’t defy the Law of Attraction.
“If your life has caused you to ask for an improved situation — no matter what it is — and you are no longer offering chronic thought vibrations that are opposite of your desire, your desire must come to you. But you cannot continue to keep alive within you vibrational patterns of what you do not want, and receive what you do want. That defies the Law of Attraction.” —Abraham
You keep those vibrational patterns of what you do not want alive when you keep focusing on unwanted, on what you don’t like, on problems, on the lack or absence of what you do want.
And you can pretty easily tell which vibrational patterns you are keeping alive by how you feel.
“Focus actually calls energy. If you are focused on what you want you will get energized. If you focus on what you don’t want, you will get depleted.” —Abraham
When you are focused on positive aspects of your life, on what you like, on what you appreciate, when you are focused on solutions, you feel energized.
But when you are focused on unpleasing counterparts, the things you don’t like, the things you are upset about, the things you are worried about…when you focus on scarcity and the absence of what you want, when you focus on all the problems, you don’t feel energized. You feel drained, depleted. You feel low vibe.
And that is because your focus calls energy. This is why Abraham says: “The most valuable skills or talent that you could ever develop is that of directing your thoughts toward what you want.”
Your focus is, indeed, a skill you can develop.
There are really three ways a person can focus.
The first is not really focusing at all, because this is when you take in everything. You pay attention to all of it. What you like, what you don’t. You think about what you want and in the next thought about not yet having what you want. You focus on pleasing things and their unpleasing counterparts. You are indiscriminate, non-selective.
This is bad for manifesting.
The second way you might focus is what could be described as glass half empty. This person is adept at paying attention to what’s missing, what’s wrong, what they don’t like, what isn’t wanted. This is someone who is selective, in a sense, but not in a good way because they are selectively focusing on what they don’t want.
Of course, this is also bad for manifesting.
The third way—and this is the one we all want to move toward—is being a selective noticer, a selective sifter, someone who is discerning in her focus. Someone who chooses to focus on what is wanted—even in the midst of unwanted. Someone who chooses to pay attention to positive aspects, pleasing things.
“When you figure out how to manifest joy because of the power of your focus, then you become the deliberate creator that you came to be…then you become one who is in control of your vibration. And when you’re in control of your vibration, you’re in control of your point of attraction.” —Abraham
That is what you want—to be in control of your vibration, and therefore your point of attraction. And the way to do this is all about the power of your focus.
So if there are three ways to focus—paying attention to everything, paying attention to only what is unwanted, or paying attention to only what is wanted, which one are you?
In all likelihood, we are some kind of mix, right? There might be days where you feel like you’re that noticer of everything, focusing on everything rather than being selective, rather than being intentional with your focus.
There might be other days you fall into a habit of noticing everything that’s wrong in your life, in the world. You get on a downward spiral of noticing what you don’t like and focusing on the absence of what you want.
My intention here is not for you to hang your head or beat yourself up for how you have been showing up. Rather, to set a new intention to choose your focus. To elevate your skill of focusing.
“The way to avoid repeating unwanted situations is to talk about wanted situations. Talk about what you do want; and discontinue dialogue about any unwanted experiences, situations, or results.” —Abraham
The bottom line: Many of us are talking about unwanted situations.
We are talking about problems. We are complaining about this that or the other. And in doing so, we are keeping the vibration of all those unwanted experiences active, and so we keep attracting more of them.
“Think about what you do want, not what you don’t want. Let the contrast help you to know what you don’t want, but as soon as you’re sure what it is you don’t want, and what you do want becomes clear, then start talking about what you do want and why you want it, and pretend it, imagine it, play with it.” —Abraham
When you focus on the good, the good gets better. That’s how Law of Attraction works.
When you focus—and you have complete and utter control over your focus—when you focus on the good, on what is wanted, and what you like and appreciate, all of that multiplies. The good gets better. You experience more and more of what is wanted.
“Don’t try to fix things that feel broken, just focus upon things that give you lightheartedness and joy and ease until you make that your vibrational lifestyle.…” —Abraham
Are you focused on the pleasing thing or are you focused on its unpleasing counterpart?
“The Law of Attraction is responding to your thought, not to your current reality. When you change the thought, your reality must follow suit. If things are going well for you, then, focusing upon what is happening now will cause the well-being to continue, but if there are things happening now, that are not pleasing, you must find a way of taking your attention away from those unwanted things. You have the ability to quickly change your patterns of thought, and eventually… your life experience.” —Abraham
It’s all about focus. What will be the focus of your attention? Of your thoughts? Of your words.
“It is not your job to get rid of the unwanted. It is your job to tune it out of your frequency.” —Abraham
The only way to tune unwanted out of your frequency is to focus differently. To no longer focus on what is unwanted and to turn your attention to what is wanted.
“Manifestation comes on the heels of vibration that is consistent. Wanted or unwanted, you get what you think about whether you want it or not. You get what you consistently think about whether you want it or not. You get what you consistently imagine whether you want it or not.” —Abraham
The invitation here is very simple: Focus on what is wanted. Rinse and repeat.
Practice consistently focusing on what is wanted.
When you find yourself paying attention to what you don’t want and what you don’t like, redirect your focus toward what is wanted, what you do like.
Manifestation comes on the heels of vibration that is consistent. Now is the time to focus consistently on what is wanted.