What if you don’t have to have all the answers?
Recently one of my clients shared she feels the need to have all the answers in work situations, especially with clients. This pressure to always have the right answer at the ready is causing a lot of stress—not to mention the massive preparation it requires for any client interaction. And even with all that prep time, she […]
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What if your only goal were to love well?
what if your only goal were to love well to love family and friends and fully show up in all your relationships to love your co-workers and neighbors and the guy who cuts you off in traffic (oh, it’s getting harder now, isn’t it) to love your job and how you contribute to love the […]
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It didn’t occur to me to be embarrassed
The other day I was browsing at the bookstore. Two women walked by and when they got close to where I was standing, one nearly dragged the other away saying, Oh, I don’t like to be seen in that aisle. It’s just too embarrassing. I was standing in the Self-Improvement aisle. I stood there for a […]
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A friction-filled life is not just the way it is
Where’s the friction in your life? Where do you feel tension or experience resistance? Where is there disharmony or a drag on your energy? Friction comes in all shapes and sizes. Maybe it’s the strained relationship with your mother-in-law or last-minute requests from your boss. Maybe it shows up when you think about your retirement […]
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Top 10 thoughts it would be better not to think
My undergrad experience is inextricably linked to watching David Letterman. One of my favorite bits was always the Top 10 lists. They had me laughing before the list even began with topics like Top Ten Least Popular Pepperidge Farm Cookies and Top Ten Things Overheard At New York City Pay Phones. I thought I’d […]
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5 ways being a taskmaster is no fun
Hey, I have someone I’d like you to meet! She’s a demanding kill-joy who will make you feel lousy about yourself and is never any fun. Certainly doesn’t sound like your first choice for company, does it? And yet you very likely hang out with her all the time. It’s your inner taskmaster. And she’s […]
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Mini mission—Ask for what you need
It’s amazing how often we expect others to read our minds about what we need. And then get upset when they don’t. Listen versus problem solve You want your friend to listen when you talk about the problem you’re having at the office, not problem solve. But you don’t tell her this upfront. Instead, you […]
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I think we’re scared to death of having more energy
I want you to draw a line down the middle of a piece of paper. Go ahead, I’ll wait. In one column, write down what gives you energy. In the other column, list everything you can think of that drains your energy. Really, I mean it. Pull out a piece of paper and spend a […]
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I’m just not energized by my work anymore
I recently worked with two women, each who came to coaching with her own unique version of I’m not energized by my work anymore. Too much on her plate The first client had too much on her plate. And it didn’t get there by accident. Poor boundaries and people pleasing had her saying “yes” too […]
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It’s time to stop being bothered by undone To Dos
Recently I posted I walk into a room and see a To Do list. The basic premise: Your environment isn’t neutral. It’s either giving you energy or draining your energy. Which means when you’re in your home and all you see are undone items on a To Do list, your energy is being depleted. Here’s an […]
Continued... Mini mission—Quit something
Today you’re going to quit something. That’s right, quit. Not start, but stop. Cease. Discontinue. Give up. Abandon. And boy is it going to feel good! We’re so used to starting things. Adding on. Beginning. But sometimes we need to create some breathing room. Our plate is too full. We’ve outgrown something. Said “yes” too […]
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I walk into a room and see a To Do list
The other day a friend said, I can’t walk into any room in my house without seeing a To Do list. She went on to describe what she sees: CDs in piles, dust, unfinished craft projects, carpet that needs to be cleaned, stacks of photos waiting to be put in albums, an item to be […]
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How can I pursue my dream when my plate is already full?
Here’s an email I received this week. I get some variation of this question frequently, so thought I’d share my perspective. Q: I work full-time for a company, but dream about starting my own business. I’m afraid it would be impossible to juggle with all my other responsibilities, including a husband and two kids. I […]
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Do you treat a setback like a stop sign?
How many times does something not happen when you want it, the way you want it and you act like it’s the end of the story? You didn’t get the promotion. It doesn’t look like the trip to Europe is going to happen. Another month passed and the house hasn’t sold. Your new business idea […]
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Stop using lack of clarity as an excuse
Do you wish you had more clarity about something in your life? Maybe you’re thinking about changing careers, but unsure what kind of job would be a better fit. Maybe you want to simplify your overbusy life, but have no idea how to untangle yourself from shoulds and have tos. Maybe you’re looking to turn […]
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