I know there are things you are want to manifest in your life. Goals you want to achieve and shiny pennies you want to acquire. Experiences you want to have and states of being you want to embody.
I’m going to talk about the three steps of manifesting—and make them super simple. Because they really are.
Rest assured, there is absolutely nothing to be gained by complicating the steps to manifest or by believing the process is confusing. So let’s agree to drop the story of complicated or confusing I sometimes hear from coaching clients about manifestation.
Instead, let’s focus on three steps. Made simple.
Step 1: Ask. You have a desire.
That is the asking, explicit or not.
- You see someone with a capsule wardrobe on Instagram and it sparks your desire for a less cluttered closet and to dress with more ease.
- You notice how stiff and sore you are from sitting at your computer all day, which prompts you to want more movement in your life.
- You read about a group of girlfriends on an international retreat and find you are craving closer female friendships.
- You realize how much you like the feeling of freedom and want more of it in your life.
Those are examples of asking.
Step 1 is happening all the time and it’s happening naturally. That’s because you are constantly being exposed to contrast, the great variety of life, which clarifies your preferences and causes you to ask.
I prefer that, not this. I want this, not that.
“Here is the simple basis of this eternally expanding Universe: Variety causes contemplation. Contemplation produces preference. Preference is asking. Asking is always answered.” —Abraham
Life will always spark new desires in you. And that’s a beautiful thing. Your asking is part of the eternally expanding Universe.
You will always have new wants, new desires. I encourage you to embrace the relief of realizing you will always be asking.
This is not about being discontented. Quite the contrary—it’s about being excited and engaged; it’s about vitality and the flow of energy.
“You intended to come forth into the physical realm of contrast to define what is wanted. To connect with the energy that creates worlds, and to flow it toward your objects of attention. Not because the objects of attention are important, but because the act of flowing is essential to life.” —Abraham
So Step 1, Ask, is happening naturally.
When contrast clarifies what you don’t want and don’t like, all you need to do is turn your focus and attention to what it is you do want and do like. That’s all.
However, some of you are stuck in the contrast. You have what you don’t like and don’t want on a loop in your head.
Instead of using contrast to clarify your preferences and then turn your focus and attention to what is wanted, you stay stuck in the contrast, fixated on what’s wrong and what you don’t want.
For instance, let’s say you really want a better relationship with your spouse. You keep asking and asking for a closer, more loving relationship.
But you’re stuck in the contrast as you focus on your husband’s faults and flaws—what a poor communicator he is and how he takes you for granted. You have a laundry list of gripes and grievances about your husband and the poor state of your current relationship.
In other words, you have don’t want-don’t like-what’s wrong on a loop.
That is not asking. That is not Step 1.
Instead, that is very much staying stuck in the contrast.
But you are not going to get stuck in the contrast. No, you’re going to master Step 1 of manifesting.
It’s simple: You experience contrast, which clarifies what you want. And then you ask, whether implicitly or explicitly. You don’t even have to say the words aloud, I want X because the Universe knows what you want.
You’re asking all the time, which means you’ve got the first step of manifesting down.
This brings us to Step 2. This step is called Believe.
Other times it’s referred to as It Is Given.
Either way, the wonderful thing is Step 2 is not your work. This is the work of the Universe.
You’ve done your part by asking, which was Step 1.
In Step 2, it’s vibrationally done. You ask and the Universe responds by creating what you want vibrationally.
“When you ask, it is given. It is always given. It is given every time. No exceptions. When you or anyone or anything asks, it is given.” —Abraham
This is what Abraham refers to as the Vortex. Don’t get hung up on the terminology; the point is you’ve asked, and your wants and desires—everything you’ve asked for—is being held in a sort of Vibrational Escrow.
Now as I said, Step 2 is the work of the Universe. But you have to stay out of the way.
If you’re doubting, if you’re asking why things aren’t happening faster, if you keep returning to Step 1 because you don’t think the Universe heard when you asked, you’re getting in the way of Step 2.
Here’s how I like to think about it: When you order something from Amazon, you don’t sit around worrying it won’t come. You don’t walk around saying, I don’t think it’s going to arrive. I’m really afraid it won’t come.
No, you place your order and then you expect its arrival. You know it’s coming. You act like it’s coming. You eagerly await its arrival.
Your energy at that point is all positive expectation and a knowingness that what you want is on its way.
Well, that’s what you want to feel about the orders you place with the Universe. You want to drop the resistance of doubt and impatience and disbelief.
“When you ask it is given…but at some point you have to stop asking and start expecting.” —Abraham
I love that!
So if what you want has been slow to manifest, perhaps you’ve been getting in the way of Step 2. Perhaps you’ve not really been believing that what you want has been created vibrationally.
“You have to be in the receiving mode of your desire, which means you have to believe it.” —Abraham
Instead of ask and it is given, is your M.O. more like: Ask, ask again, ask some more, ask with more urgency and impatience, ask with more doubt and disbelief?
“You can’t want it and doubt it and be moving towards it. When you want it and doubt it, you’re moving away from it. When you want it and feel nervous about it, you’re not allowing yourself to be in the receptive mode of realizing it.” —Abraham
Your work in Step 2 is to get out of the way of the Universe. Ask and then believe. It really is that simple.
Now we come to Step 3.
Step 3 is sometimes called Allow, sometimes called Receive. Either way, it’s the same concept.
Step 3 is all about getting in receiving mode and allowing what you’ve asked for.
You have to allow what you want into your existence. And you do this by releasing resistance and raising your vibration.
“That is the optimal creative vantage point: To stand on the brink of what is coming, feeling eager, optimistic anticipation—with no feeling of impatience, doubt, or unworthiness hindering the receiving of it.” —Abraham
Let me ask you: When you think about what you want to manifest, are you feeling eager, optimistic anticipation? Or are you feeling impatience, doubt, and unworthiness?
Because the later keeps you from receiving what you want. It’s that simple.
“Ask once, believe you have received, and all you have to do to receive is feel good.” —Rhonda Byrne of The Secret
That’s right. Allowing is about feeling good. Receiving is about alignment.
To receive means to align with the vibration of what you want. In other words, to feel now how you’ll feel when what you want manifests.
“You might say, ‘How do I know if I’m in a receiving mode or not?’ And we say, you always feel good when you’re in a receiving mode. When someone offers you a compliment, do you receive it, or do you sort of just shrug it off? There’s something about believing that you must justify your existence through your effort or through your perseverance, through your struggle. And many of you just have not practiced the receiving mode.” —Abraham
If you were to ask me how to become a better manifester, my answer is simple: Stop asking and start receiving.
And you do this by lowering resistance.
“When people ask us how long does it take for something to manifest, we say, ‘It takes as long as it takes you to release the resistance. Could be 30 years, could be 40 years, could be 50 years, could be a week, could be tomorrow afternoon.” —Abraham
Rather than being in receiving mode, many of us are actively practicing resistance. We’re not allowing what we want to manifest. We’re disallowing.
- We’re feeling bad, not good.
- We’re focused on what is unwanted, not what is wanted.
- We’re headed upstream, efforting against the flow, instead of flowing downstream, with ease and inspired action.
When it comes to manifesting what you want, are you in receiving mode or resistance mode?
Receiving mode is about feeling good, about alignment, about appreciation. Resistance mode, on the other hand, is about misalignment, feeling bad, and a habit of thought different from your desire.
Receiving vs. resisted desire. That’s what manifesting really comes down to.
“It’s not manifesting until you feel differently.” —Abraham
- When you’re in alignment, you’re in receiving mode.
- When you’re trusting the Universe instead of micromanaging the how’s, you’re in receiving mode.
- When you’re taking inspired action rather than struggling and forcing, you’re in receiving mode.
When you feel good, you’re in receiving mode. But when you feel bad, you are resisting your own desire.
I shared the three steps of manifesting: Ask, Believe, and Receive.
The first happens naturally. The second step is the job of the Universe. So it’s the third step, Receive, that very likely offers you the greatest opportunity.
So here’s my invitation: Practice being in the receiving mode. Practice allowing.
I could say many things about how to get in receiving mode, but it really comes down to just two: Look for positive aspects. Prioritize feeling good.
First, look for positive aspects.
“When you make a decision to look for positive aspects in the experience that is unfolding right now, you will create an expectation that will allow an immediately manifesting of evidence to support that Vibrational shift. In other words, the more you look for positive aspects of your current life, the more positive aspects will step forward to reveal themselves to you.” —Abraham
Looking for positive aspects in your current reality doesn’t mean there aren’t things you want to add and subtract and be different. Some think looking for positive aspects about what’s here and now means nothing will change.
That is not the case! It’s only by looking for positive aspects and raising your vibration that things can change and you can manifest what you want.
I’ll put it very simply: You can’t and won’t manifest what you want by looking for negative aspects. Period.
So get in receiving mode by looking for positive aspects.
Second, prioritize feeling good.
Which is a whole lot easier when you’re focused on positive aspects!
“It’s not about earning, it’s about receiving. It’s not about effort, it’s about vibration. It’s not about doing, it’s about thinking. It’s not even so much about being aware of your thoughts as it is being aware of how you feel when you think the thought.” —Abraham
I’ve worked with many coaching clients. Nearly every single one at some point has been indulging in thoughts that don’t feel good to them. And then trying to take a bunch of action to make what they want happen.
That is the hard way. That is not manifesting made simple!
Feeling good is your foundation. You can’t build a house, so to speak, on a shaky, feel-bad foundation. So prioritize feeling good.
Because feeling good puts you in receiving mode like nothing else.
“The main event has never been the manifestation; the main event has always been the way you feel moment by moment, because that’s what life is.” —Abraham
The goals you want to achieve and shiny pennies you want to acquire are fantastic, but they are not the main event.
How you feel is the main event.
I want your greatest manifestation to be feeling those incredibly juicy emotions at the high end of the emotional scale. Experiencing love and appreciation, positive expectation and enthusiasm, freedom and empowerment.
The way you feel is the main event. And then the wonderfully crazy part of it is: When you feel all those high vibe emotions, you easily manifest what you want.
“We want you to savor the manifestation of the emotion. If you can enjoy the manifestation of the emotion, you’ll move fast to the manifestation of what you want.” —Abraham
So let me ask: Are you enjoying the manifestation of the emotion or are you strictly focused on the tangible things you want to create?
Another way to put this: Focus on the feeling, not the stuff.
Because many of you are postponing feeling good until what you want manifests.
You don’t allow yourself to feel good until you get the relationship, until the check arrives, until the job comes, until you lose the weight…until, until, until.
“If you didn’t need the stuff to manifest before you feel better, you’d feel better all the time and your stuff would manifest more quickly.” —Abraham
Don’t make feeling better, feeling good dependent on the goals and shiny pennies. Feel better first— feel better now—and the stuff will come, the manifestations will happen.