Your standards and your vibration are connected. So one way to clean up your vibration, to give yourself a vibrational tune-up, is to raise your personal standards.
Of course, the reason this is all so important is because the vibration you offer is your point of attraction.
“When you improve your point of attraction, the Law of Attraction must bring you circumstances, events, relationships, experiences, sensations, and powerful evidence of your shift in vibration. It is law!” —Abraham
So by raising your standards, you can improve your point of attraction.
In this post, I’ll talk about five ways to raise your standards and what each one has to do with Law of Attraction.
Just so you know, the five ways I’ll highlight are certainly not the only ways you could raise your standards. But these five are a great place to start.
So let’s begin!
One way to raise your standards—and your vibration—is to stop complaining.
Are you a complainer? Do you routinely express dissatisfaction or annoyance about things?
- Your boss or co-workers
- Your commute or customer service
- Your spouse or parents
- Your bank account or body
If you are expressing dissatisfaction, you are complaining, and it is lowering your vibration.
Here’s the thing, when you lower your vibration because you’re complaining let’s say about work all the time, that lowers your overall point of attraction. Your lowered vibration doesn’t just stay contained to the subject of work.
No, you are lowering your overall point of attraction, which means other areas of your life, like health or relationships, are likely impacted.
It doesn’t really matter the subject you are complaining about. The point is you are complaining.
“Complaining about anything holds you in the place of refusing to receive the things you’ve been asking for.” —Abraham
Now, you want to receive the things you’ve been asking for, right? But Abraham says you cannot receive when you complain.
That really puts complaining in a new light, doesn’t it? Complaining doesn’t seem so benign.
You might have said: Everyone does it, so what’s the big deal. I only complain about my husband, so that’s OK. But the service was so bad and I’m just telling everyone about what happened.
“If you’re complaining about how bad it is, what you’re creating is more of how bad it is.” —Jack Canfield
That’s exactly what complaining has to do with Law of Attraction. Or as Abraham puts it: “Complaining will attract more things to complain about.
Complaining is not benign. Complaining lowers your point of attraction. Complaining blocks you from receiving.
“If we give out thoughts of grouchiness and complaining, etc., we’ll find more to complain about. If we send out love and affirm ‘life loves me’, then we are drawing experiences to ourselves that prove it’s true.” —Louise Hay
Just imagine you raise your standards and go complaint free. The lift in your vibration will be immediate and significant when you stop complaining—about anything, about everything.
Another way to raise your standards—and your vibration—is to stop gossiping.
There are so many reasons gossip lowers your vibration.
Gossip is negative attention. You are in other peoples’ business. You don’t really feel good when you are gossiping. We are all one, all connected energy, so when you talk negatively about someone else, that negativity comes back to you.
“Finding lack in others is not the path to liking what you see in yourself.” —Abraham
Gossip is often about finding lack in others. Can you believe she said that?! Can you believe he did that?!
Gossip is often talking about others and what we perceive as their shortcomings, their misbehavior, their poor taste, their bad decisions, their problems. Gossip is negative talk about other people, and it is low vibe.
Let’s look at gossip through the lens of Law of Attraction. When you put out negativity, you will receive negativity.
When you put out negativity in the form of gossip, you will receive negativity in return. Maybe it will show up in your health or finances. Maybe in your work situation or your relationships.
When you lower your vibration with gossip, your lowered vibration is now your point of attraction. Attracting to you circumstances, people, events, situations, and things of a similar frequency.
Now I know that’s not what you want. I know that’s not what you intend when you gossip.
You might think it’s harmless. You might think it’s not hurting anyone. But it is hurting you. It is negatively impacting your point of attraction.
“Life is very simple. What I give out comes back to me. Today I choose to give love.” —Louise Hay
You can immediately raise your standards by giving up gossiping, and by choosing to give love instead. Give love with your thoughts, give love with your words, give love with your actions.
Another way to raise your standards—and your vibration—is to stop negative self-talk.
What an opportunity this is for so many of us!
“I monitor my self-talk, making sure that it is uplifting and supportive of myself and others.” —Louise Hay
Most of my clients tell me their self-talk is anything but uplifting and supportive. Instead, it is mean and critical. It is nitpicky and disapproving.
“What you think about activates a vibration within you.” —Abraham
Consider what that means when your inner dialogue is ultra-critical about everything you say and do.
Because when you indulge in negative self-talk, you are activating a vibration within you. And it is not a vibration that makes you a magnet for what you want. Quite the contrary.
What if your new personal standard, the standard you happily hold yourself to, is no negative self-talk? Can you imagine that?
One way my clients have created this life-changing shift is to really imagine they are saying to another person what they are saying to themselves.
- You can’t do anything right.
- I can’t believe you said such a stupid thing.
- You are so unattractive.
- No one cares what you think.
Is that how you talk to yourself? And yet would you ever—ever—say such things to another human being?
Would you call someone names? Would you magnify their shortcomings every chance you got? Would you constantly minimize their good qualities? Would you follow after them with a never-ending narrative of you didn’t say the right thing, wear the right thing, do the right thing?
I don’t think this is how you talk to other people. And I don’t want it to be the way you talk to yourself.
“As you think thoughts that feel good to you, you will be in harmony with who you really are.” —Abraham
It’s time to clean up your vibration by cleaning up the negative self-talk. Think thoughts about yourself that feel good to you!
Another way to raise your standards—and your vibration—is to stop making other people responsible for how you feel.
- My husband forgot my birthday, so I feel upset.
- I can’t be happy until my kids are happy.
- My boss micromanages, which makes me feel frustrated.
Those are all examples of making others responsible for how you feel.
“Take credit for your own point of attraction. Don’t blame anyone for what’s happening to you, because no one is doing anything to you, they’re just co-operative components.” —Abraham
This has been an area where I’ve personally made some big shifts to raise my vibration. Because before my obsession with Law of Attraction, I definitely made others responsible for my feelings. I really believed they were responsible.
In the past, I definitely would have said, You hurt my feelings. Meaning you need to behave in a certain way, do certain things, not do other things so I can feel good.
I’m not perfect at this even today, but I’ve come a long, long way. I now know with certainty that I am the one who is responsible for my feelings, the good-feeling ones and the bad-feelings ones. I’m the only one who can hurt my feelings.
- Making others responsible for your feelings is a recipe for lowering your vibration.
- Making others responsible for your feelings, your happiness, flies in the face of how Law of Attraction works.
You are the only one in your head thinking your thoughts. And it is your thoughts that cause your feelings. So you simply can’t make others responsible for how you feel. How you feel is because of how you are choosing to think.
When you manage your mind and are intentional about your thoughts, you can feel any way you want. Regardless of what those around you are doing or not doing.
The bottom line: Your feelings are not dependent on anyone or anything outside of yourself.
“You can find yourself in an endless loop where you explain that you feel negative because of the negative behavior of someone else. But if, instead, you take control of your own emotions and you think an improved thought because it feels better to do so, you will discover that no matter how the negative trend got started, you can turn it around. You have no real control of what anyone else is doing with their Vibration (or with their actions, for that matter), but you have complete control over your own thoughts, Vibrations, emotions, and point of attraction.” —Abraham
Did you catch that last part? You have complete control over your own thoughts, Vibrations, emotions, and point of attraction. So raise your standards and take full responsibility for how you feel.
Another way to raise your standards—and your vibration—is to stop trying to fix other people and solve their problems.
“You can appreciate the relationships around you, but you can’t fix other people’s problems. You can teach by example, but you can’t create their reality for them.” —Abraham
But too many of us are walking around lowering our vibration because we are trying to create reality for others.
- You may be doing this because you want to help.
- You may be doing this because you think you know what’s best.
- You may be doing this because you are controlling.
- You may be doing this because you’ve decided you can’t be happy until the other person’s problem is solved.
It really doesn’t matter whether you are trying to fix other people’s problems because you want what’s best for them or because you are a control freak. The result is the same: By trying to fix other people’s problems you are lowering your own vibration.
When you are focused on someone else’s so-called problem, you are vibrating at the level of the problem.
When you are trying to “fix” other people, you’re focused on something that’s wrong. Or that you perceive as wrong.
Low vibe! Low vibe!
“It is not your role to make others happy; it is your role to keep yourself in balance. When you pay attention to how you feel and practice self-empowering thoughts that align with who-you-really-are, you will offer an example of thriving that will be of tremendous value to those who have the benefit of observing you. You cannot get poor enough to help poor people thrive or sick enough to help sick people get well. You only ever uplift from your position of strength and clarity and alignment.” —Abraham
I know so many of you want to be an uplifter. But you can only truly be an uplifter from an aligned state.
Give love by seeing people as you know they want to be. See the people around you as whole and resourceful.
Stay connected to Source Energy. Model alignment. Nurture your own vibration. And stop trying to fix everyone around you.
Let me recap the five ways to raise your standards.
Stop complaining. Your new standard: Focus on positive aspects.
“Make lists of positive aspects, make lists of things you love and never complain about anything.” —Abraham
Stop gossiping. Your new standard: Mind your own business.
“We want this to be the poetry for the rest of your life…mind your own business! Nothing that concerns you is outside of you.” —Abraham
Stop negative self-talk. Your new standard: Say nice things to and about yourself.
“You’ve been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” —Louise Hay
Stop making others responsible for how you feel. Your new standard: Take 100% responsibility for your own vibration.
“Line up your energy and leave your partner alone. Stop giving other people the responsibility for the way you feel. It’s the only place you’re ever going to find freedom.” —Abraham
Stop trying to fix other people and solve their problems. Your new standard: Nurture your own vibration and model alignment.
“We want you to free yourself of the bondage of believing that it’s your job to make things right for all people. It’s their job to create their reality. It’s your job to create your reality.” —Abraham