Mini Mission—Stop running on fumes
A lot of people are running on fumes—their reserve tank is empty. Are you one of them? To have a reserve means having more than you need in areas of your life—like personal space, finances, time, energy, rest, etc. Do you have reserves? Or are you running on empty in some area? (Maybe even more than one…) […]
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I can’t make it to that meeting (Really?)
I can’t exercise regularly. I can’t start a business. I can’t make it to that meeting. I can’t change jobs. I’m fascinated by the distinction between can’t versus won’t. And how often we say one when we really mean the other. Can’t vs. Won’t: Can’t is about skill. Won’t is about will. So which is […]
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Is your history weighing you down?
Are you weighed down by your history? Do you have a narrative about your past that disempowers you? We all have a story to tell—whether to others or just ourselves—about how we got to where we are today. Here’s the thing: There are the facts of the story, such as leaving college before graduation, being […]
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I hear a lot of “if only…” and “but, but, but”
I hear a lot of “if only…” and “but, but, but”. What I don’t hear enough of is “and”. If only my husband didn’t travel so much for work, I could go back to school. If only I had more money in savings, I could pursue my passion. If only I had more time, I […]
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What would it take to get unstuck?
Are you stuck? Stuck in an old habit, a dead-end relationship, an unfulfilling job? Stuck in a limiting belief, an out of shape body, a fear that’s holding you back… What would it take to get unstuck? What one thing can you do today—perhaps even right now—as a first step? That one thing could be […]
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I never make the right decision
Do you constantly second guess yourself? Do you frequently question whether you made the right decision? Are you always wondering if you should have chosen differently? I have a friend who does this regarding nearly every decision she makes, big or small. She orders a Greek salad and then wonders if she should have gone […]
Continued... Mini Mission—Establish or renegotiate a boundary
How are your boundaries? Established and strong? Or vague (even to you, but especially to others) and weak? Many of my coaching clients are working on setting stronger boundaries as a critical component of self-care. They’re tired of saying “yes” when they really want to say “no.” They’re frustrated by taking on commitments and then […]
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Thinking and Feeling are about how you make decisions
In the world of the Myers-Briggs, Thinking and Feeling are about how you make decisions. Of course, we all think and feel, but Myers-Briggs’ use of these terms is distinct from everyday usage. In a nutshell: Thinking types tend to focus on making logical decisions while Feeling types decide using personal, subjective criteria. Do you […]
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I’m just not one of those creative types
I’m just not creative. My job isn’t creative. I’m not one of those creative types. I don’t make anything, so I’m not really creative. Creative is not just painting a picture or developing a product. It’s not only being a photographer or writer. Creativity isn’t for some special group of people—a group to which you […]
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5 whys can help you get to the root cause of your problem
As a coach, I typically avoid using “Why” to start a question because it tends to put people on the defensive. Why is this so hard for you? Why can’t you make a decision? Why are you afraid to change careers? Why didn’t you follow up with your prospects? Why react so negatively? Asking these […]
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Believing change is difficult doesn’t help
I’m not suggesting change is always a piece of cake, but believing it will be difficult certainly doesn’t help. Time and again I’ve witnessed two people set a similar goal: Change careers, lose weight, downsize overhead, launch a business… Granted, these are unique individuals with distinct life situations and differing skills. But what I see over […]
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Life is too short to be bored
Hearing someone say I’m bored or My life is boring is like nails on a chalkboard. It causes a visceral flinch. Bored? Boring? Really? In this day—at any age—is boredom even possible? Well, apparently it is if you believe it is. Our mindsets become a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you believe your life is boring, it’s the lens […]
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I need you to agree with my point of view. I need to be validated.
While it certainly feels good when someone agrees with us, I think most are really looking for understanding. Have you ever thought about the difference between seeking agreement versus seeking understanding? The distinction makes a difference—and often gets us in trouble. Agreement is about control and being right. I need you to agree with my […]
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We had a disagreement and now the weekend is ruined
The all or nothing mindset is self-talk focused on extremes. If I don’t stick to my diet perfectly, I might as well give up trying to lose weight. If I don’t get 25 people to sign up for my workshop, it’s a waste of time. If I don’t perform flawlessly, I’m a total failure. We […]
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It’s too late for me to make a career change
Not a week goes by someone doesn’t confide in me they’re unhappy in their work. Alongside the woe of work, I frequently hear some version of but I can’t change careers. I’m 10 years in. I can’t waste the time I’ve already invested. It’s what my degree is in. It’s too late for me to […]
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