Garbage in, garbage out: Be careful what you ask
Our brains are wired to answer questions. Where do you need to give yourself permission? What will increase your chance of success? If you knew you could not fail, what would do? What strengths can you leverage? See what I mean? You couldn’t help but start to formulate answers. Our brains just go to work […]
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We all have the same 24 hours in a day
I’m so busy. There aren’t enough hours in the day. It’s a familiar refrain I hear a dozen times a week. I overhear it standing in line at the bank and from the next table over at lunch. I hear it from clients, friends, and the barista at my favorite cafe. And it makes me […]
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To Do vs. Toleration: It matters more than you might think
I have a To Do list. I use it to get things done. Tasks go on the list. Tasks are marked off the list. I used to be at war with my To Do list because it started to fill less with tasks to do and more with tolerations. You know what I mean by […]
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You need to read this if you’re a worry-wart
Worry is a slippery thing. On the one hand, it feels like something positive you’re doing. An expression of caring about someone or something. You worry… your recent graduate will have trouble finding a “real” job. your spouse won’t get the promotion at work. your sibling isn’t taking care of his health. your friend is […]
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What if you stopped participating in busy?
Today I hopped on a bus that was running late. In an attempt to make up time, the driver drove at least twice the speed limit, which meant slamming on the brakes for each stop to pick up and let off passengers. And since the bus stops are not overly far apart, this meant driving […]
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Warning: Your serenity and sanity are at risk
Are you so overwhelmed that you don’t have the time or energy to do anything about why you’re overwhelmed to begin with? It’s a maddening conundrum, isn’t it? Your To Do list is mostly undone, work has reached its tentacles way beyond an 8-hour day, and life keeps presenting you with unexpected hurdles. Most days […]
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Please stop making excuses and do these 3 things
I’m a total geek when it comes to thinking about systems and streamlining. Which is probably why I return time and again to this Timothy Ferris quote from The 4-Hour Workweek: Never automate something that can be eliminated, and never delegate something that can be automated or streamlined. Otherwise, you waste someone else’s time instead of […]
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Everything has to be perfect vs. Done is better than perfect
The perfect holiday. The perfect performance. The perfect house. The perfect life. Everything has to be perfect. You can’t make mistakes. Failing is unacceptable. You have to be perfect. The perfectionist mindset creates this reality: Before you even swing your legs out of bed in the morning and put your feet on the floor, you […]
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Some women actually think self-care is selfish
This is a dangerous lie that ignores basic facts about mental, physical, emotional and spiritual well-being. This lie—self-care is selfish—leads to worn out, frazzled, harried, stressed, overwhelmed women. It’s not a pretty sight. It’s wonderful to do for others. But it crosses the line into unhealthy when it’s at the sacrifice of yourself. Think of […]
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I’ve got good news for you: Your way is not the only way
Have you ever thought to yourself: I’m the only one who can do it right. This is an exhausting lie because it means you’re doing everything. From creating the PowerPoint slides to putting up the holiday decorations to dropping the kids off at soccer. From balancing the checkbook to doing the laundry to running the […]
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No is a complete sentence
Here’s the problem: Saying yes too often and to the wrong things means you end up drained and depleted. Overwhelmed and exhausted. And, truth be told, feeling burdened, put upon, and probably a little resentful. We say yes to be needed, liked, and avoid disappointing others. We say yes out of guilt, out of duty, […]
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ALERT! ALERT! What you say to yourself matters
Are you a nice person? Or do you belittle others and make them feel bad about themselves? Do you harp on people’s weaknesses and call them names? Do you make others feel they’re not good enough or acceptable as they are? I’m guessing your answer is, That’s awful! Of course I don’t say and do […]
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Are you worried people won’t like you if you set boundaries?
Boundaries act as a filter—letting in the good stuff that enhances you and keeping out the bad stuff that diminishes you. You may find it difficult to set boundaries because you put others’ needs and feelings first, feel you don’t have the right to declare what is and isn’t OK for you, and worry setting […]
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Fear, I know you want to keep me from doing this…
I have a client who doesn’t want to make cold calls for her business because she’s afraid. Afraid of intruding and interrupting. Afraid of stumbling and not sounding confident. Afraid of being rejected. I totally get it. Whenever I do something I’ve never done before, it feels awkward and uncomfortable. I feel awkward and uncomfortable. […]
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I’m not special. You can have this superpower too.
One of my superpowers is detecting limiting beliefs. They’re rotten for your confidence and your future. You know, thoughts like I’m just not creative or I’m too old to make a career change. Here’s what I believe: There are enough external obstacles out there without putting internal ones in your way too. But this wasn’t […]
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