Start, Stop & Change: negative self-talk

Are you a nice person? Or do you belittle others and make them feel bad about themselves? Do you harp on people’s weaknesses and call them names? Do you make others feel they’re not good enough or acceptable as they are?

I’m guessing your answer is, That’s awful! Of course I don’t say and do those things! I’m a nice person.

But what if I asked: Do you say or do any of those things to yourself?

Your answer would probably be a small, sad, Yes.

Have no doubt: The way you speak to yourself—even when it’s only in your head—is either energy giving or energy draining. Expanding or contracting. Supportive or shaming.

  • You look fat in those pants.
  • You sounded so stupid in front of your boss.
  • You won’t follow through. You never do.
  • Why even try? You know you’ll just fail.
  • You’re certainly not going to win any mother-of-the-year awards.

Beating yourself up and putting yourself down isn’t just not nice. It creates its own negative energy. It’s demotivating and disempowering.

The bottom line: You can make deposits into your bank of well-being or you can make withdrawals.

Every unkind word you say to yourself—and harsh thought you have about yourself—is a withdrawal that leaves you depleted and drained.

If you don’t have anything nice to say to yourself—even silently in your own head—then don’t say anything at all.

Because what you say to yourself and how you treat yourself matters. It matters to how you feel and how you feel about who you are. It matters to how you show up in your life and in the world.

  • Be gentle with yourself.
  • Speak kindly to yourself.
  • Acknowledge your efforts.
  • Appreciate who you are.

It’s time to stop the diminishing chatter of negative self-talk and be your own best friend.

Will you start using your energy—including your words and thoughts—to enhance your well-being and expand what’s possible?