Start, Stop & Change: asking for help

Have you ever thought to yourself: I’m the only one who can do it right.

This is an exhausting lie because it means you’re doing everything.

  • From creating the PowerPoint slides to putting up the holiday decorations to dropping the kids off at soccer.
  • From balancing the checkbook to doing the laundry to running the meeting.
  • From planning the trip to cleaning the house to disciplining the kids.

The truth is you’re not the only one who can do it right. The truth is you’re the only one who can do it your way.

And the real truth is: Your way is not the only way.

When you live this lie, you are—to put it frankly—a pain in the you-know-what to be around. Your controlling martyrdom is disempowering to everyone around you. Not to mention just plain irritating.

So not only are you draining your energy when you live this lie, but you’re also draining the energy of all those around you.

There’s no doubt others will do things differently than you. Maybe not as well. Perhaps better. But differently, for sure.

My question is: So what? In the grand scheme of things, does it matter?

Ten years from now, it won’t matter how the pots and pans were loaded in the dishwasher. Or how exactly the bathroom got cleaned. Or that the writing on the holiday cards didn’t look picture perfect.

Doing it all is simply too much for one person. Which means you sacrifice your own well-being by refusing to ask for help.

But there’s another price to be paid.

When you refuse to let others help, you also sacrifice connection. You sacrifice allowing others to feel useful and of service. You deprive others of feeling empowered by their contribution.

You’re not the only one who can do it. You’re not even the only one who can do it “right”.

  • Practice asking for help.
  • Practice allowing others to contribute.
  • Practice being okay when something is done differently than you would have done.