Are you on autopilot, going through the motions, just getting by? Maybe feeling discontent and a little aimless. Are you struggling with your direction and purpose?
If so, chances are you have Compass tolerations.
Compass tolerations show up when you’re:
- Not fully engaged in some part of your life
- Living out of alignment with your values and priorities
- Struggling with direction, vision, or purpose
Compass tolerations appear when you’re in a career that’s no longer a good fit or don’t have dreams for your life. They turn up when you have a poorly understood sense of purpose or make decisions disconnected from your values.
For instance, one of my core values is Energy. Which means I pay close attention to what gives me energy and what drains my energy. I value enthusiasm, gratitude, positivity, optimism, and living toleration free.
When it comes time to make decisions, I can lean into this value and use it as a guiding force to point me in the right direction. In other words, I make decisions by going where the energy is.
Living in alignment with your values is just one aspect of avoiding Compass tolerations.
Knowing where you’re going, what you want, and what’s important to you keep these tolerations at bay. I’m talking about life purpose, direction, meaning, fulfillment, engagement, passion. You know, the good stuff.
Letting in gunk
While there are 8 types of tolerations, Compass tolerations are particularly troublesome because they create an opening for a whole bunch of the other types of tolerations to come into your life.
Here’s what I mean: If you’re in a job you don’t like, a relationship that’s not working, or a life that doesn’t feel quite right, it can be easier to distract yourself with your long To Do list than do the heavy lifting to figure out what needs to change to live more intentionally.
Staying bogged down in busy
Because let’s face it: It’s easier to drop off the dry cleaning and buy a new cell phone than figure out what you want to do with your life.
In fact, having a long To Do list that keeps you busy and overwhelmed is a sneaky way you can continue to avoid the more important questions:
- What do I want to do with my life?
- What do I want to create and contribute?
- How can I make my next chapter truly amazing and aligned with what I deeply want?
But you know something’s off
There’s a nagging feeling of not living up to your potential happiness. But you’ve been too busy juggling your endless To Do list and the business of life to really do anything about it.
Are YOU spending too much time on the business of life and not enough on your bucket list?
How did you get here?
Compass tolerations can creep in slowly over time. It’s this simple: Too many days spent on autopilot and you end up living life by default, not design. You wake up one morning, take a look around, and ask, How did I get here? This isn’t the life I intended.
Other times a big life change can suddenly trigger Compass tolerations. A divorce, the kids go away to college, you get laid off, a health crisis. These major life events can shift the status quo and make reinvention a possibility—or perhaps even a probability.
Clarity and courage
Either way, slowly or suddenly, what can you do when you have Compass tolerations in your life?
Well, these 43 questions are a great place to start. So pull out your calendar, schedule a block of I Matter time, and journal to explore these discovery questions.
If a question brings up resistance or a strong emotional reaction, that’s probably a particularly good one for you to spend time considering.
To get rid of Compass tolerations, you need two things: Clarity and courage.
Step 1: Clarity Questions.
You need clarity about what you want and what’s important to you.
- Your future self writes you a letter. What does it say?
- When do you lose track of time and get lost in the flow?
- What did you dream of doing when you were a kid?
- What do you see others doing that you wish you could too?
- How do you want to feel every day?
- What would you love to do even if you didn’t get paid?
- What do people come to you for that you also delight in doing?
- What do you want to be known for?
- What are your top 5 values—and are you living them?
- What is your definition of success?
- What bucket list items are important to you?
- When do you feel most like you’re making a difference?
- How do you want to contribute in your life?
- What dreams have you been deferring?
- What is one thing, if never pursued, you’d always regret?
- What beliefs do you hope to pass on to others?
- What are you not doing enough of that you want to start?
- What gives your life meaning?
- What vision is compelling enough for you to take radical action?
- What opportunities are you not making the most of?
- What lights you up, energizes you, and makes you feel 100% you?
So once you have clarity, now what? Next comes courage.
Step 2: Courage Questions.
You need courage to move in the direction of what you want and what’s important to you.
The courage to—
- get out of your comfort zone.
- feel the fear and do it anyway.
- stop worrying about what other people think of you.
- say no—a lot—so you can say a bigger, deeper Yes!
- stop wishing and start taking massive action.
- live a life you intentionally design for yourself.
So how do you find this courage? Well, you can start by journaling your answers to these discovery questions.
These questions will help you tap into courage you already have, but that may be dormant and dusty because you haven’t been using it to live on purpose.
- How can you more authentically show up in your life?
- What limiting beliefs about worthiness do you need to reframe?
- How will you take full responsibility for the results in your life?
- What boundaries will you set and honor to live on purpose?
- If your success were guaranteed, what bold step would you take?
- What seed will you plant today that will make a difference in the future?
- How will you stop hustling for worthiness (performing, perfecting, pleasing, proving)?
- What stories about the past do you need to rescript or let go of?
- How can you feel the fear and do it anyway?
- Where do you need to stop blaming and playing the victim?
- How will you be upfront and visible about what you want?
- Where do you need to give yourself permission?
- What are tangible ways you can expand your comfort zone?
- How will you stop playing it safe?
- List 10 things you’ll courageously say no to—and 10 you’ll say yes to.
- How will you boost your confidence?
- Where will you follow your heart—regardless of what others think?
- Where do you need to take a stand in your life?
- What crucial conversations will you have to live on purpose?
- How will you be resilient when you encounter setbacks?
- What actions will you hold yourself accountable to?
- What kind of help and support do you need and how will you get it?
Here’s what I want for you on the courage front:
- Have the courage to live a life true to yourself and not the one others expect of you.
- Have the courage to fully show up in your life, not present the world with a smaller, watered down version of yourself.
- Have the courage to spend your time, attention, and energy on what truly matters most to you.
Most of all, have the courage to be accountable to yourself and take responsibility for the results you want in your life.
This kind of courage requires rolling up your sleeves and doing whatever it takes to say goodbye to Compass tolerations and create the life you crave.
Know this
These concepts—life purpose, direction, meaning, fulfillment, values—are not too lofty or out of reach. They’re not for some exclusive group of women that you don’t belong to. These words are for you.
And they’re waiting for you to get clarity and have courage.
Trust me, you’ll no longer have Compass tolerations when you know what matters most and design your life to honor your true values and priorities.
Look at your compass. What is it telling you in terms of your direction and purpose?
