What comes to mind when I ask, Who are you being?
Perhaps you think, I’m being loving or I’m being judgmental. Maybe you think, I’m being lonely or I’m being appreciative.
The Universe reflects back to you who you are being. And it does so regardless of the circumstances that “caused” you to be loving or judgmental, lonely or appreciative.
Whoever you are being is basically your request to the Universe for more of the same.
Really let that sink in. Who you are being is a request to bring you circumstances, people, events, situations, and things of a similar frequency.
- If you are being impatient, you will get more to be impatient about.
- If you are being loving, you will get more to be loving about.
- If you are being angry, you will get more to be angry about.
Law of Attraction can only give you what you are giving. Or another way to put it: You can only receive what you give.
That’s why Step 3 of manifesting is called Receive. Receive doesn’t just mean this is the step where your manifestation takes form in your physical reality. No, more importantly, it’s the step where you get in receiving mode by giving vibrationally what you want to receive, what you want to manifest.
You have to give a vibration that matches the vibration of what you want to receive.
A useful analogy is to think of a mirror. When you look in a mirror you see yourself reflected back. You don’t expect the mirror to reflect back something totally different, right?
Well, Law of Attraction works in exactly the same way. Your life will reflect back to you circumstances, people, events, situations, and things of a similar vibration to what you are offering.
Your life is reflecting back to you a reality that matches the vibration of who you are being.
So who you are being is attracting.
Now sometimes when this topic comes up with my coaching clients, they aren’t sure at first who they are being. So I want to share a number of ways you can explore this concept. My hope is one or more will help you gain insight into who you are being.
Again, that’s important, because the Law of Attraction is responding, and giving you more of who you are being. You are receiving what you are giving.
So let’s explore.
One way to understand who you are being is to consider your dominant thoughts.
If you were to tell me three or four of your dominant thoughts, I would have a pretty good idea about what you are giving and, therefore, what you are receiving.
- You may have dominant thoughts that serve you, meaning they attract what you want into your life.
- You may have dominant thoughts that don’t serve you, meaning they are attracting circumstances, people, events, situations, and things into your life that you do not want.
What are you dominant thoughts? Will you receive what you want based on what you are giving with your dominant thoughts?
Next, what are your go-to emotions? In other words, what are the emotions you feel most often?
We all experience a wide range of emotions, but tend to have a much smaller subset that are our go-to emotions. The ones we are used to feeling. The ones we keep activating with our thoughts.
- Now, maybe your go-to emotions are on the high end of the emotional scale with emotions like love and appreciation.
- Or maybe your go-to emotions are in the middle of the emotional scale, like overwhelment and worry.
- Perhaps your go-to emotions are at the low end of the emotional scale, and you regularly feel fear or guilt.
Of course, there is a relationship between your dominant thoughts and your go-to emotions. Because your thoughts cause your feelings. Whatever your dominant thoughts are, meaning thoughts you have a regular basis, those will correspond to your go-to emotions.
Let’s link this back up to who you are being. If you are thinking certain thoughts on a regular basis and those thoughts are causing you to feel certain emotions on a regular basis, it stands to reason that combination of thoughts and feelings is a reflection of who you are being.
And who you are being is attracting.
Based on your dominant thoughts and go-to emotions, what will life reflect back to you? What will you receive via Law of Attraction based on what you are giving?
Next, I want you to think about the vibration you offer based on the story you tell about your life.
When I say the story you tell about your life, I mean the story you tell of your past, the story you tell of your future, the story you tell of your work day, the story you tell of what happened when you called Comcast about your bill, the story you tell about the holidays, the story you tell about everything.
Because we are always telling stories—in our heads and to other people. We are making meaning from the circumstances of our lives with the stories we tell.
Some of those stories, perhaps even many or most of those stories, do not offer the vibration of anything we actually want to receive.
Here’s what I mean: When you tell the story of your work day and it is a story of complaint and blame, a story of frustration and irritation, a story critical of others who are not behaving the way you want them to behave, when you tell that story, you are offering a vibration.
Law of Attraction isn’t judging you for the story you are telling. It’s not agreeing or disagreeing with you. It’s not deciding whether you are right or wrong. It is simply matching up vibrationally. Like attracts like. You can only receive what you give.
So it’s worth thinking about the stories you tell. They are one aspect of who you are being. Are you receiving what you want based on the stories you tell and the vibration that you are activating?
Another way to explore who you are being is to think about your reactions and moods.
When you feel an emotion for moments or hours, that’s considered a reaction. So X, Y, or Z circumstance happens, you make it mean such and such, and you feel an emotion. Maybe worry or doubt. That is your emotional reaction.
Then if it lingers, in other words, if you continue to think the thoughts that caused the feeling of worry—if that goes on for hours or days—then we have a mood.
When you sustain that emotion even longer, for weeks or months, we would say that is your temperament. Then when you experience that emotion for years, it’s what’s known as a personality trait.
So a reaction sustained becomes a mood, which when sustained for longer becomes temperament, and then a personality trait. This is essentially how emotion works.
Notice it all started with the reaction. You had a thought, it caused a feeling, and you sustained that for moments or hours.
Your thought patterns are creating a habitual vibrational groove. This groove, this set-point, is what’s attracting the circumstances, people, events, situations, and things in your life.
Who are you being in terms of your reactions? Who are you being in terms of your moods?
Often someone says, But I’ve just always been this way or I’m just a worrier and can’t change that. It is challenging to think about changing a temperament that’s been sustained for weeks or months, let alone a personality trait that’s been sustained for years.
But that’s not the place to start. The place to start to change is with the reaction. It’s not even with the mood.
The emotional reaction you have is based on your thoughts. And you can change your thoughts. You can begin to shift away from indulging thoughts that create negative emotion in you. That create reactions in you that don’t allow you to manifest what want.
Some people who are giving joy and appreciation with their emotional reactions. Or optimism and enthusiasm. Others are giving anger and rage. Or fear and anxiety.
Let me tie this back to who you are being. What are you giving with your reactions? Based on what you are giving, are you receiving what you want?
I’ve just shared four ways to explore who you are being: Your dominant thoughts, your go-to emotions, the stories you tell, and your reactions and moods. Hopefully one or all of those helped to shine a light on who you are being.
I also want to offer four other ways you might recognize who you are being.
These reflect some of the most common ways of being that show up for my clients.
Are you being a perfectionist?
If so, who you are being is someone who always falls short of self-imposed expectations. You’re offering a self-critical and self-judgmental vibration. What you’re giving is pressure. What do you suppose you’ll receive in return?
Are you waiting to be happy until X, Y, or Z happens?
If so, who you are being is someone who postpones joy. I want you to think about what you attract, what you are a magnet for when you postpone feeling good?
Are you always focused on the problem?
If so, who you are being is someone who is vibrating on a different frequency than the solution. The problem is at one frequency; the solution is at another. Think about what you attract when you focus on the problem—and what you repel, which is the solution.
Are you putting everyone ahead of yourself?
If so, who you are being is someone who takes care of others at the expense of your own vibration. What do you think you receive when the vibration you offer is depleted, drained, and often resentful?
I’ll bring us full circle: Who are you being?
- Are you being anxious and fearful?
- Are you being loving and appreciative?
- Are you being stressed and frustrated?
- Are you being enthusiastic and eager?
If you realize who you have been being is not who you want to be, don’t beat yourself up. Don’t spend any time in regret or self-recrimination. There’s no vibrational payoff for wishing you had been different yesterday, last week, last year.
The best thing you can do is start right now being intentional about the vibration you offer. The best thing you can do is start to give what you want to receive.
The best thing you can do is to start being who you want to be—right here, right now—rather than waiting for circumstances and situations to line up so you can be who you want to be. We really all have to drop the excuse of Well, I can’t be this way or that way until such and such.
- I can’t be generous until I get a raise.
- I can’t be loving until he changes.
- I can’t be happy until I get the new job.
The circumstances around you will change. But first you have to offer the vibration that attracts the circumstances you want.
It’s really this simple: Give what you want to receive.
Not every now and again. Not on a special occasion. Not only to certain people in certain circumstances.
No, start giving what you want to receive.
- Do you want to attract love? Be loving.
- Do you want to attract abundance? Be appreciative.
- Do you want to attract ease? Be relaxed.
It is really this simple: Give what you want to receive.
“You have to be happy first, and give happiness, to receive happy things! It can’t happen any other way, because whatever you want to receive in life, you must give first!” —Rhonda Byrne, The Power