“There is a very big vibrational difference in your thoughts of appreciation of your mate, and in your thoughts of what you would like to be different about your mate. And your relationship with your mate, without exception, reflects the preponderance of your thoughts.” —Abraham

Here’s the bottom line: You create your own reality. Abraham is emphasizing that by saying your relationship with your mate reflects the preponderance of your thoughts.

  • Notice Abraham didn’t say your relationship with your mate reflects how loving your partner is, whether your mate brings you flowers and takes out the trash.
  • Notice it didn’t say your relationship reflects whether your mate talks too much, is on time, asks you about your day, and sings your praises with your in-laws.
  • Abraham didn’t say your relationship with your mate reflects whether you agree about what to spend money on, how to raise the kids, or where to vacation.

No, Abraham says your relationship with your mate, without exception, reflects the preponderance of your thoughts.

Your thoughts become things.

That’s because your thoughts cause your feelings—and your feelings are the vibration to which Law of Attraction responds.

And so the relationship you have reflects your dominant thoughts about your mate.

If your dominant thoughts about your partner are he never really listens and never truly pays attention to me, then that is the reality that shows up. If the majority of your thoughts about your mate are in the energy of complaint and blame and fault finding, then that is the reality that continues to show up.

This is why focusing on things you don’t like—in your partner or about anything—is so problematic when it comes to Law of Attraction and only works against you.

When you complain about behavior you don’t like and point to that behavior—he shouldn’t do thus and so, he needs to do this and that—when you point to what you don’t like and give your attention to what you don’t want, you only attract more of it.

Your attention says yes. Focusing on what you want to be different in your mate is only saying yes to the very thing you don’t like and don’t want.

I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase What you focus on grows. That might sound like a bumper sticker slogan, but let’s not gloss past the wisdom.

What you focus on grows. Your attention says yes. When you are focused on something you don’t like, you are saying yes to it. That’s not your intention, but it is the way Law of Attraction works.

When you are focused on things you want to be different in your mate, you are only activating more of what you want to be different. When you are focused on things your mate is doing “wrong”, you attract more of the same.

Your every thought is attracting its vibrational essence.

“Whether you are thinking about wanted things or unwanted things, you are still sending out a “request” to attract more things like the subject of your thought. And all things that happen to you—all people, things, experiences, situations that come to you—come in response to your Vibrational invitation. Noticing how things are turning out for you is one very clear way of understanding which Vibrational requests you are emanating, because you always get the essence of what you are thinking about, whether you want it or not. —Abraham

This begs the question: If you keep thinking about what you want to be different in your mate, and if you always get the essence of what you are thinking about—what are you actually going to get? The answer is more definitely not what you want.

Now, let me say: This is not about needing to like something you don’t like. Let me explain what I mean by that.

Let’s say your partner interrupts you and you really don’t like that. Well, you don’t have to.

But you do want to take your attention off that aspect of your life experience and that aspect of your mate that you don’t like. Because paying attention and thinking thoughts about it that cause you to feel frustration and irritation are only attracting more of it into your experience.

The key is to put your attention elsewhere. Instead of focusing on being interrupted, focus elsewhere. Put your attention on something you do like, on something you do appreciate.

The preponderance of your thoughts on any subject is creating. This is true about your partner, your career, your finances.

Take any area of your life and ask yourself: Are my thoughts in the vibration of appreciation or are my thoughts in the vibration of what I want to be different?

  • If your vibration on the subject is one of appreciation, you are creating and attracting.
  • If your vibration on the subject is one of what’s lacking or what you don’t like, you are creating and attracting.

Let me be clear: Contrast clarifies what you want. When you experience contrast with your mate it clarifies wanted vs. unwanted.

That contrast and clarity is a good thing, a welcome thing when it comes to manifesting. The issue is when you stay in the contrast, when you stay in the unwanted with your focus and attention.

Once the contrast has clarified your preference, your job is to put your focus and attention on what is wanted.

Often, though, we stay stuck in the contrast. Continuing to dwell on the lack or absence of what we want, continuing to focus on what we don’t like and don’t want.

“It is not possible to stand still, or be stuck, because Energy, and therefore life, is always in motion. Things are always changing. But the reason it may feel to you as if you are stuck is because while you are continuing to think the same thoughts, things are changing—but they are changing to the same thing, over and over. If you want things to change to different things, you must think different thoughts. And that simply requires finding unfamiliar ways of approach familiar subjects.” —Abraham

If you’ve been focused on what you want to be different in your mate, what about focusing on what you appreciate instead?

Likewise, if you’ve been focused on what you want to be different at work or with your finances, what about focusing on what you appreciate instead?

Thinking different thoughts—ones of appreciation rather than complaint and fault-finding and lack—thinking different thoughts will allow the change you want.

“The state of appreciation is seeing whatever you are looking at through the eyes of Source… You could walk down a crowded street with all kinds of things that a lot of other people would find reason to criticize or worry about, and you would not have access to them because your vibration of appreciation is picking out for you things of a different vibrational nature.” —Abraham

This is the power and magic of the vibration of appreciation.

When you are in this vibration, what you have access to is more of the same. Meaning you notice more and more to appreciate. When you are appreciating, there is simply more to appreciate.

Imagine, then, if you bring this lens to your mate. Or to your job or your boss or your finances or your house or your body. What if you were to look at your mate through the lens of appreciation? What if you were seeing your mate through this high vibration?

Here’s what will happen. You will feel good. Because appreciation always feels so good. You will notice more and more than you appreciate. You will notice less and less things that you want to be different.

And…here again is where some of that magic comes in…the things you wanted to be different will fade away. Either because they are truly no longer there or because you simply don’t notice them from your your state of appreciation.

“There’s a very high probability that when you see your partner as you want to see your partner, you begin to offer a vibration that causes your partner to see you the way your partner wants to see you.” —Abraham

That is so delightful. When you see your partner as you want to see your partner, you’ll feel wonderful. And feeling wonderful will be a vibration that attracts more that matches up.

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