Fear & Other Tough Stuff: worry

I’ll start with this from Abraham: “Worrying is using your imagination to create something you don’t want.”

Which means whatever you are worried about—money, your kids, climate change, your relationship, keeping up with the Joneses, your job, what’s going on in the world, your health or the health of someone you love—whatever it is you are worrying about is using your oh-so-powerful imagination to create something you don’t want.

We live in an attraction-based Universe.

Here’s what that means: Your attention says yes. What you give thought to—wanted or unwanted—you begin to invite into your experience.

Many of us want to believe it works differently. We act as if worrying is protecting us from the thing we’re worried about.

  • If we worry enough about our kids doing well in school, they’ll do well in school.
  • If we worry enough about whether our spouse is faithful, he won’t stray.
  • If we worry enough about our job security, we won’t be laid off.

But Law of Attraction does not distinguish between observed reality and your imagination.

You’re attracting the essence of what you’re thinking and feeling. So the Universe is responding to your vibration of worry.

“Whatever you’re thinking about is literally like planning a future event. When you’re worrying, you are planning. When you’re appreciating, you are planning… What are you planning?” —Abraham

I know planning isn’t what you intend to be doing when you are worrying about your bank account or the upcoming meeting with your boss, but that is the crux of Law of Attraction.

Like attracts like. When you are vibrating at the level of worry, Law of Attraction brings you people, events, situations, and things at a similar frequency. And at #14 out of 22 on the emotional scale, I’m sure we would all agree attracting more things of a similar vibration as worry is not what you want.

I’ve yet to come across a single person who’s not worrying about something.

Myself included. I catch myself worrying about my Mom and about Hans, about their well-being. I find myself worrying about my siblings and their happiness. The other day I noticed I was worrying about a trip that’s weeks in the future!

So I’m not immune to this habit of worrying.

Since my obsession with Law of Attraction, I have a decidedly different perspective on worry.

Now I realize not only does worry serve no useful purpose, but even more important, worrying is harmful because of the unwanted that comes along with it.

When you are worrying, you are vibrating at the level of the problem, at the level of what is unwanted.

This inclusive Universe of ours responds to your point of attraction without judgment and without discerning wanted from unwanted. You simply receive what you give. Your reality will reflect the vibrational frequency of your worry. It can be no other way.

Where your focus goes, energy flows. Which means energy now flows to whatever is the subject of your worry. Adding to it, creating momentum, attracting.

The Universe will always give you more of what you’re vibrationally asking for. So make no mistake, when you are worrying, you’re going to get more that vibrationally lines up with worry.

I know that’s not what you want.

So hear this: There is simply no upside to worry.

It doesn’t feel good while you’re doing it. It doesn’t serve any meaningful purpose or protect you from anything. And, in fact, it actively attracts and creates what you do not want.

“Your body is an absolute mirror of your mind. As you worry, your body shows it. As you love, your body shows it. As you are overwhelmed, your body shows it. As you are angry, your body shows it. Every cell of your body is being allowed or resisted by the way you feel.” —Abraham

Did you catch that: As you worry, your body shows it.

Like I said, zero upside.

I’m worried about you because I love you.

Sometimes clients will tell me they agree worrying about climate change or the economy is not useful. But they want to make an exception when it comes to worrying closer to home. Specifically, when it comes to worrying about friends and family. I love you, so I’m worried about you.

“You cannot worry about someone and love them at the same time. Most people mistake the emotion of worry for the emotion of love. They think that worrying about somebody means that you love them.” —Abraham

Oh my! That brings up a whole lot of resistance for many of us. Because we’ve been living as if worrying about our loved ones is a way we love them. Abraham says it’s not.

Let’s unpack that.

When you love someone, you see their Well-Being.

You see their wholeness and resourcefulness. You see them as they want to be, not necessarily as they are. And when you see someone through the lens of love, that’s the vibration. It’s the highest vibration there is. The most elevated emotion.

So right away you can see the highest, most elevated emotion of love cannot be the same as worry, which is way down at 14 on the emotional scale, sandwiched between doubt and blame.

Love and worry are two completely different vibrations. You can feel that. I know you can.

Seeing someone through the lens of love is wholly different than seeing someone through the lens of worry. It’s an entirely different frequency. A whole other vibration.

So we’re bumping up against a belief many of us have had for a long time. And the belief is: We’re loving someone when we worry about them.

Remember, a belief is just a practiced thought.

Perhaps you have been thinking over and over for a very long time that when you worry about your kids or your parents or your spouse or your friends, you are loving them. That your worry is, in fact, a sign of your love.

That’s a belief, for sure. But the “reality” your belief creates is not the reality you really want to be creating. Because with that belief, worry is your point of attraction.

Let that sink in. Just think for a moment about what you are attracting with all that worry, with #14 of 22 on the emotional scale. That’s how far down the scale we are.

“You will know when you are of value to anyone when you are able to think about the person and feel good at the same time. When you love others without worry, you are an advantage to them. When you enjoy them, you help them. When you expect them to succeed, you help them. In other words, when you see them as your own Inner Being sees them, then and only then is your association with them to their advantage.” —Money, and the Law of Attraction

When you love others without worry, you’ll manifest what you’re in vibrational alignment with—which is love. Imagine the power of that!

Also, always remember you can’t think, feel, or vibrate for anyone else. Which means all your worry about someone else—be it your kids in the next room or people halfway around the world—is not helping them and it’s only hurting you.

Have you been emitting a vibration of worry?

How much of the unwanted in your life today is in response to that vibration?

“What you are living is the evidence of what you are thinking and feeling—every single time.” —Abraham

  • How much of what you are living today is because of the fretting and overthinking of worry?
  • Of dwelling on thoughts that create anxiety and unease?
  • Of indulging in thinking about difficulties, troubles, and potential problems?

Rest assured, you can change all that. Because there is another way that leaves worry behind.

“Being happy is the cornerstone of all that you are! Nothing is more important than that you feel good! And you have absolute and utter control about that because you can choose the thought that makes you worry or the thought that makes you happy; the things that thrill you, or the things that worry you. You have the choice in every moment.” —Abraham

You can choose the thought that makes you worry or the one that makes you happy. The choice is yours.

The other day I was working with a client who said in a rather exasperated tone, So you’re telling me the answer is I need to choose thoughts that make me feel good. It seems like you’re always saying that.

I had to laugh. And, of course, she laughed too as she realized what she’d said. You would think I had been telling her she needed to step in a pile of poo every day rather than choose to think thoughts that feel good.

Why do we hesitate to prioritize feeling good?

Why do we, instead, choose to believe there is purpose in our pain and so just keeping heading in the direction of discomfort, of gunky feelings, of settling for a life without elevated emotions?

I used to worry more than I do these days. I’m not perfect when it comes to letting go of worrying, but I have come a long way. And this bit of wisdom from Abraham helped me let go of worry.

Perhaps it will help you too.

“Next time you feel any discomfort…stop in the middle of it and say to yourself, ‘This discomfort that I’m feeling is nothing more than my own awareness of resistance. Time for me to relax and breathe. Relax and breathe. Relax and breathe.’ And you can, in seconds, bring yourself back into comfort.” —Abraham

Now that quote doesn’t even mention the word “worry”. But I know for me when I feel the emotion of worry, I experience a lot of discomfort.

Worry is mental unease that doesn’t feel good at all.

Worry is not a feel-good state, is it? So when I read that quote about discomfort, I immediately thought about worry.

And how if I stop in that moment of worry and discomfort, and bring awareness to what’s going on, and relax and breathe, I can choose to let the worry go.

I can choose the higher vibration of ease. I can choose to release resistance and turn back in the direction of creating and attracting what I really want.

“We want you to be so selfish that you’re not willing to worry.” —Abraham

Looking for what you want to see is a core Law of Attraction principle.

Looking for what you want to see helps you feel good and helps you manifest what you want with ease.

Worry is the complete opposite of looking for what you want to see. Worry makes you feel lousy while you’re doing it—and you attract the essence of what you’re worried about rather than what you want.

Be honest with yourself about your relationship with worry. If you’re a worrier, let go of this low-vibe habit and start looking for what you want to see.

“Shift the way you feel and watch what happens. If you can rid yourself of worry, you will rid yourself of things to worry about. It is really that simple.” —Abraham

Are you a worrier?

Schedule a coaching session and learn how to let go of your low-vibe habit of worry.