Sometimes a particular topic comes up in a coaching session with a client. Then later that week, that subject makes another appearance with a different client. And then the following week, someone else brings it up.
Well, that’s exactly what happened.
Several coaching clients over the last few weeks have said some variation of I don’t feel worthy or I feel unworthy. Or they might have asked Who am I to have this? or Am I deserving of this? in relation to the amazing and wonderful things they are manifesting.
To feel unworthy or to doubt your deserve-ability are just two sides of the same unworthiness coin.
So I started to think about worthiness through the lens of Law of Attraction.
My hope is to offer relief to those who are experiencing the feeling of unworthiness.
I’m going to cut to the chase, and then explain why that is by giving you more context.
It all comes down to this: If you care about how you feel…
Unworthiness is #21 on the emotional scale. And you remember the emotional scale is a list of emotions from 1 to 22, ranking emotions most in alignment with Well-Being and Source versus emotions with the most resistance to Well-Being and Source.
Unworthiness is #21 alongside insecurity and guilt. The only emotions lower on the scale are Fear, Grief, Depression, Despair, and Powerlessness.
So we’re at the bottom of the emotional scale.
When you think the thought I don’t feel worthy, it feels awful.
It’s a lackful, disconnected moment.
“The thing that will certainly disconnect you from your Energy Source faster than anything is to criticize yourself, see yourself as inappropriate or unworthy in some way.” —Abraham
The reason feeling unworthy doesn’t feel good is because the thought you had that created the feeling of unworthiness is not in agreement with how your Inner Being sees you.
Your Inner Being wouldn’t think that, which means there’s a disconnect between how you are seeing you and how your Inner Being sees you. A vibrational discord. And this disconnect is creating the negative emotion.
But the emotion of unworthiness cannot manifest unless you are thinking thoughts that create this feeling.
So, as always, we are back to managing our minds.
This is thought work.
If you don’t want to feel unworthy, then don’t think thoughts that create the feeling of unworthiness in you.
For those who say they struggle with worthiness, it’s simply about a practiced vibration. Nothing more.
It doesn’t have to be viewed as something bigger, scarier, hairier than that. You don’t have to believe your history of feeling unworthy is entrenched. You don’t have to dig up all the stories from your past about why worthiness is such an issue for you.
You simply have to stop practicing the vibration of unworthiness.
Some of my clients want to suggest this emotion—unworthiness—is somehow different, more unchangeable than say, the feeling of frustration or doubt. So they tell me If they had practiced the vibration of doubt—even for a long time—that would be easier to change than unworthiness.
They have a whole story around the subject of self-worth and deserve-ability that suggests unworthiness is a fact of their lives that is deep-rooted, fixed, and firm.
Here’s what I say to all that: No, unworthiness is simply a practiced vibration. It’s only deep-seated because it’s a practiced vibration and, by Law of Attraction, momentum has been created around it.
Think about what I mean by practiced vibration.
If you’ve practiced that unworthy feeling over and over—whether in general or on a specific subject like money or love—there is now momentum.
“That which you think, in any moment, attracts unto itself other thoughts that are like it.” —Abraham
We live in a vibrational Universe. If the vibration you’ve been practicing is unworthiness, then that is what the Law of Attraction has responded to.
When you indulge in any negative emotion, momentum happens.
- You attract other thoughts that perpetuate the feeling.
- Then you attract manifestations that reflect the feeling.
And it becomes a vicious cycle.
If you believe you’re not worthy of success or love, then that belief, that thought on a loop, is attracting other thoughts like it. Just think about what you are attracting with the belief you are unworthy.
Now here’s something interesting I’ve noticed about worthiness. Most of us want to say, Oh, of course, I think I’m worthy. But then we put conditions on our worthiness. The way we actually think and feel and act is:
- I’ll be worthy when my business is more successful.
- I’ll be worthy when I reach my ideal body weight.
- I’ll be worthy when I get organized.
“You are perceptual beings with different vantage points and it does not matter how much information is given—you cannot see beyond the vibrational limits of where you are standing. You cannot live or see or experience outside of your own individual beliefs.” —Abraham
Abraham is clearly saying you cannot create anything in your life that your beliefs don’t support. Or another way to say it: You will only be able to manifest things in your life that match up with your beliefs.
So if you believe you are unworthy, then you will manifest a life that matches up with that belief.
And I know that’s not what you want.
The other day I was working with a client who throughout our session used the phrase I don’t feel worthy. There was a repetition of those words.
I want you to notice if you are doing the same.
- Is there a phrase you repeat?
- A story you retell?
The repetition of words or story is usually a signal that this is a habit of thought you’ve gotten into. And because it’s a habit of thought, it has become a practiced vibration.
Of course, you can be doing this in positive direction too. You can have a habit of thought that creates a positive emotion—and that has become a practiced vibration to which the Law of Attraction responds.
But we’re talking about unworthiness. And your thought patterns have created chronic thought vibrations—to which the Law of Attraction is responding.
If it’s a practiced vibration, that means you have momentum around it.
Think about a train going 80 miles an hour. There’s momentum going in one direction, which means stopping and turning to head in the other direction doesn’t happen unless we first slow down that momentum.
How can you slow the momentum and shift the energy around a practiced vibration of unworthiness?
The easiest way, is to take your attention from that subject.
I’ve found most of my clients feel unworthy in relation to a particular subject, like money or love. And so one way to shift the energy is simply to take your attention from the subject that is producing the thoughts that are creating the feelings of unworthiness.
Abraham also recommends meditation as a way to get off a subject that is producing negative emotion. Meditation quiets the mind, which means you’ve taken your attention from the thoughts that were causing negative emotion.
First thing in the morning when you wake up is a clean slate when it comes to your vibration. That is, if do not reactivate the subjects that cause you to feel negative emotion, if you do not rehash the past and retell stories that cause you to feel unworthy.
So this is not about forcing yourself to think positive about a subject you’ve been thinking negatively about for so long and with such strong emotion. It’s about taking your focus and attention off that subject altogether.
If you would raise your hand as someone who struggles with self-worth, then I’m going to assume you have a chronic pattern of thought that has created that so-called struggle.
The best thing you can do is stop struggling.
Stop adding momentum to the situation. Put your attention and your thoughts elsewhere.
And don’t treat unworthiness as this special emotion. Don’t create this whole story around how difficult or unlikely you are to change it.
Unworthiness is about vibration. Vibration is caused by thoughts. If you will think thoughts that feel different as you think them, you will change your vibration.
You have the ability to change your practiced vibration around unworthiness—or any other practiced vibration that isn’t serving you.
Stay on the worthy subjects. Stay off the subjects where you don’t feel worthy. Your lack of attention to subjects that cause you to feel unworthy will slow the momentum.
“I am willing to release the need to be unworthy. I am worthy of the very best in life, and I now lovingly allow myself to accept it.” —Louise Hay
Are you ready to release the need to be unworthy?
Because unworthiness is a habit of thought that is rooting against yourself. It’s a habit of thinking in opposition to what you want.
Here’s the bottom line: If you care about how you feel, if you are sensitive to your vibration, you will choose not to think thoughts that support that feeling of unworthiness.
And if you no longer are willing to think thoughts that create the feeling of unworthiness, that energy will shift.
If you care about how you feel… For so few words, that is a mind-blowing, powerful phrase.
If you care about how you feel…
Because if you care about how you feel, you are no longer willing to indulge in thinking that causes negative emotion in you.
This is so important because the Law of Attraction can only respond to the vibration you are emitting.
It’s not judging you a good person, a bad person, a deserving person, an undeserving person. It is simply and perfectly responding to the vibration you offer.
”It’s not the absence of Source’s love that doesn’t let you have what you want, it’s the absence of your own love—that’s the discord. So rather than saying I’m unworthy, say I’m sloppy in my thinking. Rather than saying I’m unworthy, say I’m wiling to feel negative emotion and put up with it.” —Abraham
You don’t want to be sloppy in your thinking. You don’t want to put up with feeling negative emotion.
Decide you are worthy.
Make the decision. Choose the belief. You have a choice and there is no upside to deeming yourself unworthy.
“If you were listening to the hypnotic voice of your Source, you’d be constantly hearing the drum beating that says, ’You are loved and you are worthy and you are valued and life is suppose to be good for you. You are worthy, you are valued, you are loved and life is supposed to be good for you.” —Abraham
You don’t feel good when you feel unworthy. Unworthiness is at low end of emotional scale. If you feel the negative emotion of unworthiness, you are mis-creating.
”You are worthy beyond description and you are brilliant beyond description. You are good. You are source. That is your core. And every bit of moving from that is a flawed premise and distortion.” —Abraham
It’s time, my friends, to drop the flawed premise and distortion of unworthiness.
