Are you suffering from FOMO? You’ve probably heard of FOMO, but in case you haven’t, it stands for Fear Of Missing Out.
FOMO surfaced in a couple recent coaching sessions with clients, which caused me to be curious about looking at FOMO through the lens of Law of Attraction.
Let’s start here: FOMO is a sense there’s something better you could be doing at this moment. It’s a feeling you are missing out on something others are experiencing right now.
FOMO can show up in different ways.
For instance:
- You decide to stay home for the evening, but then fear you’re missing out on a good time with your friends. FOMO casts a shadow on your entire evening.
- You see someone on social media celebrating her engagement or her new home and fear you’re not going to have these things for yourself. Suddenly FOMO sets in and you don’t feel so good about your life.
- You decide to skip an after-work networking event, but then fear you’re missing out on an opportunity. FOMO means you don’t really enjoy the bike ride in the beautiful weather you’d planned.
In all these instances, there’s a thought maybe you would be better off somewhere you are not. Maybe you would be better off doing what your friends are doing. Maybe you would be better off knowing what they know, having what they have.
FOMO is characterized by a stressful belief that the grass is greener over there.
Over there is better or at least could be better, so you’re bummed you are missing out.
By all accounts, FOMO is fairly common, so we’ve probably all had this experience at one time or another. I think some of us, though, are turning a once-in-a-blue-moon situation into a habitual way of showing up.
- You are here, but thinking about being over there.
- You are here, but wanting to be over there.
- You are here, but worrying about missing out on what’s over there.
I want to talk about two ways the vibration of your present moment is undermined by FOMO—and what this has to do with mis-creating.
One aspect I will explore is about the emotion of FOMO and the other is about a telltale sign of FOMO: The lack of presence in the present moment.
Let’s dive in.
If you are experiencing FOMO, well, the fear part is an immediate clue you are not high on the emotional scale.
While the emotion of fear in FOMO might be a little different than other ways you’ve experienced fear, this is nonetheless an unpleasant and stressful negative emotion.
When you are fearful you are missing out, when you are worried you are missing out, when you are disappointed you are missing out, when you are insecure you are missing out, all those emotions—fear, worry, disappointment, insecurity—are low on the emotional scale.
Experiencing FOMO doesn’t feel good. FOMO means you are experiencing some flavor of negative emotion.
Right away, then, we know FOMO isn’t attracting anything you want. When you have a fear of missing out, you feel negative emotion, which is a sign you are mis-creating.
Let’s talk a little more about the emotion—the vibration—associated with FOMO.
Fear. Fear of missing out. The emotion of fear. Fear is #22 on the emotional scale. As in #22 of 22, so we are at the very bottom of the emotional scale.
And what should you do when you are feeling negative emotion? What should you do when find yourself at the bottom of the emotional scale?
What you want to do is reach for the relief of a better-feeling thought.
Because a thought got you where you are. A thought of missing out got you to fear. A thought of missing out caused you to feel negative emotion.
As always, your thoughts cause your feelings. This is Law of Attraction 101. Which means the way out of fear, the way up the emotional scale, is another thought, a different thought, a better-feeling thought.
Really let that land.
It’s not the circumstance that you are at home and your friends are somewhere having a good time that is causing you to feel negative emotion.
- It is your thoughts about that circumstance.
- It is the meaning you are giving to that circumstance—the meaning of missing out—that is causing the negative emotion.
For instance, you could focus on being able to relax, unwind, and recharge at home—and feel empowered and appreciative and happy. Or you could focus on what others are doing somewhere you are not and make that mean you are missing out—thereby feeling the corresponding negative emotion. Feeling the FOMO.
What you focus on and what you make a circumstance mean are super important.
So much of leveraging Law of Attraction is about being intentional when it comes to the meaning you give circumstances.
Deliberate creation is about making circumstances mean something that feels good to you.
When you make your present circumstance mean you are missing out, which makes you feel bad, you are not using LoA to your advantage. Instead, you are mis-creating and attracting what you do not want.
So to recap: FOMO is caused by a thought—a low vibe thought that creates negative emotion in you. FOMO is caused by a thought about what you are making a circumstance mean.
Hear this loud and clear: That meaning is a choice. It’s optional. You can absolutely choose a meaning about the circumstance that allows you to move from low vibe fear to a thought that feels better and is higher on the emotional scale.
The second aspect of FOMO I want to explore has to do with the present moment.
Specifically, I want to talk about how FOMO signals your lack of presence in the present moment…and how that means you are mis-creating.
When you fear you are missing out on something that’s going on over there, you are not present to what’s going on right here.
Let me say that another way: When you are experiencing FOMO, you are not enjoying the moment you are in. Because you are worried about the moment you are not in. An even simpler way to say this: You are not present.
Not being present is a big problem when it comes to Law of Attraction. Here’s why: Your only power to create is in the present moment. Really let that land: Your only ability to create is in this now moment.
So when you are using your now moment to think about where you are not and feel the low vibe of FOMO, that’s your energy of creation. You are attracting from that energy of FOMO.
But know this: You are not attracting anything you want from the fear of missing out. You are not creating anything that will be wanted from the energy of FOMO.
I’ll say it again: Your power to create is now. What you are focusing on and feeling right now—in this present moment—is what you are creating for your future.
Let’s imagine you stay home tonight because you want to relax, eat a home cooked meal, and get to bed early. In the midst of doing just that, you start experiencing FOMO. You know your girlfriends are getting together to go out, and you start fearing you’re missing out on the fun, missing out on the good time.
As a result of these thoughts, you are no longer enjoying being at home and cooking that new recipe you wanted to try. You are no longer feeling good about a relaxing evening at home and an early night of restorative sleep.
Instead, your thoughts of what you are missing out on create negative emotion in you. That negative emotion is the vibration you are offering in your present moment. And it is that present moment that holds all your creative power.
That fear you are feeling—I’m missing out. I don’t have what they have. I’m not experiencing what they’re experiencing—the fear in FOMO is attracting. You are attracting and creating from that frequency.
Negative emotion is always telling you two thing: You are mis-creating and it is time to pivot.
Imagine what matches up to you when the vibration you offer is fear. While I don’t know the specifics of what will manifest, I know it’s not what you want.
It’s this simple: Good feeling thoughts take you in the direction of what you want. Bad feeling thoughts take you away from what you want.
Here’s the bottom line of FOMO: You are not enjoying the moment you are in because you are worried about the moment you are not in.
FOMO thoughts are low vibe. The negative emotion you experience from fear of missing out is mis-creating.
“When it feels like there is something missing, it always is alignment. No matter what.” —Abraham
Next time you experience FOMO, recognize that what you are really missing out on is alignment.
Fear is not alignment. Fear that you are missing out is not alignment. My greatest encouragement is this: Be where you are and do all things in joy.
I’d like to offer you these five tips when it comes to FOMO:
- Notice if you are experiencing FOMO. Recognize that feeling of fear coming from the thought that you are missing out.
- Make the decision to look at your FOMO through the Lens of Law of Attraction. This puts fear of missing out in the context of your vibration and gives you direction.
- Don’t make a big deal out of it. Abraham says: “Don’t make where you are too big of a deal. Let it be what it is: It’s a moment in time where you have a choice to feel good or feel bad. That’s all that it ever is.” OK, so you’re experiencing FOMO. No big deal. Just start where you are and recognize the choice you have to feel good or feel bad.
- Reach for a better-feeling thought. Take a look at whatever you are afraid you are missing out on—the relationship or promotion, the event or opportunity or good time—and choose to think thoughts that will move you up the emotional scale about whatever you are “missing out on”.
- Connect with the present moment. Remember, your power to create is in this now moment. Rather than offer the vibration of FOMO—to which Law of Attraction will respond—what about offering a vibration of appreciation? What can you appreciate about your here and now?
