I want to talk about jealousy. You know, that feeling of envy about someone else’s achievements or shiny pennies or experiences. That feeling of discontent or even resentment about someone else’s possessions or qualities or good fortune.
I imagine we’ve all experienced the emotion of jealousy. Even as you may want to celebrate the good fortune of another, perhaps there are times your thoughts cause you to feel jealousy.
For instance, let’s say…
- You really want to move up the ladder at work. You find out your cousin has just been promoted in her job and while you want to be happy for her, well, to be honest, you feel jealousy.
- You are single and really want a romantic life partner. It seems as if there are couples everywhere you go, and noticing them, you feel jealousy.
- You really want to have a baby and start a family. When you hear about someone else getting pregnant, you feel jealousy.
- Your desire is to buy your dream home. That is the rocket of desire you have launched. One of your friends recently purchased an amazing house and while you want to be thrilled for her, you feel jealousy.
- You recently started your own business, full of excitement and possibility. But when you give your attention to this particular someone in your field who is very successful you go from feeling admiration to feeling envy.
Can you relate to any of those scenarios?
What they all have in common is this: Jealousy doesn’t feel good.
This emotion is #20 on the emotional scale. You remember the emotional scale is a list of emotions numbered 1–22. So jealousy at #20 means we are quite low on the scale.
That negative emotion means you are mis-creating. In other words, you are not attracting what you want when you feel this emotion.
Jealousy does not make you a magnet for what you want. Quite the opposite, it repels what you want.
I want to share three ways of thinking that might be at the root of your jealousy. Then I want to give you two ways to shift your perspective so you move up the emotional scale from jealousy.
Let’s begin with three common roots of jealousy: Scarcity, impatience, and doubt.
Thoughts of scarcity, impatience, and doubt can lead to feelings of jealousy.
Do you have a scarcity mindset?
- Someone else having what you want does not mean there is not enough for you.
- Someone else having what you want does not mean that you won’t also be able to manifest what you want.
There is no shortage of Source. This means feeling jealousy because of a scarcity mindset is really just faulty thinking.
“There’s no shortage of all of the stuff or non-stuff that any of us wants—there’s no shortage of it. It expands proportionately to our ability to desire it.” —Abraham
Do you have an impatience mindset?
When you see someone who has what you want, do your thoughts create feelings of impatience in you?
Why is it taking so long to find a partner? Why haven’t I already gotten my dream job? When is the money coming? Why hasn’t it happened yet? Why is it taking so long?
Impatience is actually higher on the emotional scale at #10 than jealousy is at #20. However, what I’ve noticed is impatience can be a gateway to the lower emotion of jealousy. Impatience can be the initial emotional hook that leads to the downward spiral.
In other words, your impatience about the timing of your manifestation can lead to envy and resentment of others who already have what you want.
Impatience is a vibration.
“Impatience is not your friend. Impatience means that you have a vibration going on that’s in your way.” —Abraham
Impatience about the timing of your desire is not going to attract what you want to you. And then impatience leading to jealousy because others already have what you want is also not going to attract what you want.
Do you have a doubt mindset?
Doubt is also on the emotional scale, making an appearance at #13. Again, doubt about your ability to have what you want, get what you want, manifest what you want is a gateway to feeling jealousy about others who already have the partner, the freedom, the money, the house, the lifestyle, the career.
“Doubt is the way you feel when you are focused in a way this is contrary to what you want.” —Abraham
So when you doubt what you want—doubt your ability to attract it, doubt the Universe’s ability to deliver what you want to you—when you doubt, this can lead to feeling jealousy about others who have achieved the goals you want to achieve or acquired the shiny pennies you want to acquire.
Let me ask: Has scarcity, impatience, or doubt at the root of your thinking caused you to feel jealousy?
If so, I want to offer a couple perspectives on jealousy to help you shift away from this energy of mis-creating. I want to offer what might be a new-to-you perspective on jealousy through the lens of Law of Attraction.
The two perspectives I’m going to offer reflect jealousy not being a bad thing, but rather a wonderful signal if you choose to see it that way.
So what do I mean?
The first perspective is this: Jealousy helps you recognize a desire. Jealousy simply shines a light on something you want.
Think about it: Jealousy is making you aware of a desire. You are jealous of someone else’s relationships, career, body, bank account, success.
Whatever it is that has sparked that feeling of jealousy is spotlighting your own desire. And that is not a bad thing.
- It’s good to know what you want.
- It’s clarifying to know what you want.
- It’s exciting to know what you want.
Law of Attraction will deliver to you what you want when you align vibrationally with it. But jealousy, obviously, is not a vibration that aligns you with what you desire.
There’s a saying that comparison is the thief of joy.
I agree if the comparison is made in a way that makes you feel doubtful, impatient, unworthy, discouraged, insecure—or any other low vibe emotion. However, comparison of your situation to someone else’s to help you clarify what you want and launch a rocket of desire is a good thing.
Here’s my point: Next time you feel jealousy, what if you immediately pivoted your thoughts to appreciation that you know what you want.
I’m suggesting when you notice Mary has the loving partner or Sue has the great job or Ann has a new car—and you feel jealousy—that you immediately with your thoughts shift from jealousy to appreciation by appreciating that you know you want the loving partner and the great job and the new car.
So to recap: You can use jealousy as a signal to shift to appreciation that you know what you want. You can use jealousy to pivot from envy and resentment and discontent to an appreciation for the desire you have just launched.
Now, you might be saying, Well, I didn’t just launch the desire. I’ve actually had the desire for awhile. In that case, jealousy can be your reminder to appreciate the unfolding of your desire.
“You think that the goal is to be over there, and we say the goal is the journey over there; the goal is the fun you have along the way on your way to over there.” —Abraham
Let’s move onto the second perspective on jealousy to help you shift away from this energy of mis-creating.
One of my favorite ways to reframe and shift the energy of jealousy is this: Whatever the situation is that you are feeling jealousy about is simply a sign you are getting closer to your own desire. This means when you encounter someone who has what you want, it’s time to celebrate! Because it means you are in proximity to what you want. You are closer to your manifestation.
Let me say more about because this perspective is truly liberating and incredibly uplifting.
When you encounter something you want—the house or the relationship, the money or the freedom, the career or travel—whatever it is, it means you are getting closer to your own desire.
- If you want a romantic partner, instead of noticing all the couples and feeling jealousy, know those couples are evidence you are getting closer to the manifestation of your own desire.
- When you’ve been wanting more abundance and a friend gets a raise, instead of of feeling jealousy, know this is a sign you are getting closer.
I want you to consider the energetic difference between feeling jealousy when you see someone having the stuff or non-stuff you want, versus seeing it as a sign. A sign you are on the path to what you want. A wink and a nod from the Universe that you are getting closer.
Totally different energy!
- If you see something you want and feel jealousy, it doesn’t feel good. Jealousy—whether from scarcity or impatience or doubt—is you pushing against and away the very thing you want.
- On the other hand, if you see something you want and choose to reframe and reinterpret your initial feeling of jealousy into an acknowledgment of your desire and a sign from the Universe that you are getting closer to what you want, then you feel hopeful. You feel positive expectation and anticipation. You feel excitement.
Jealousy is not an off-limits emotion. But it is a negative emotion. And so like any negative emotion, hanging out in jealousy doesn’t feel good and is mis-creating.
I hope this post has offered a shift in your perspective about what jealousy is really signaling. I invite you to step into the opportunity this emotional state offers you.
The scarcity, impatience, doubt mindset of jealousy has you on the low end of the emotional scale, offering a vibration that is going to repel what you want.
Whereas your enjoyment of the launching and unfolding of your desire and choosing to see signs from the Universe have on on the high end of the emotional scale, offering a vibration that is going to attract what you want.
Either way is a choice.
When someone has something you want, you have a choice as to what you make that circumstance mean.
- Will you make it mean scarcity or will you take it as a sign you are getting closer to what you want?
- When someone has something you want, will you be impatient and doubtful about when and if your desire will come to you or will you enjoy the evolution, the unfolding, the journey of your desire?
“The feeling of jealousy is: Banging around, giving birth to a rocket of desire that you don’t line up with, but somebody else does. And what we want you to realize is just because they’ve lined up with it, and achieved it, does not mean they have taken it away from you, because there’s no shortage in this.” —Abraham
There is no shortage. Jealousy is not the pathway to manifesting.
You can have everything you want. Offering a vibration of positive expectation and anticipation is how you will attract what you want.