Think about the past few days. Have you said I’m confused about something?
- I’m confused about retiring early.
- I’m confused about whether to stay in my relationship.
Do you often say or think, I don’t know?
- I don’t know if I want to change jobs.
- I don’t know whether to start my own business.
Saying or thinking I’m confused or I don’t know are often indications that you are compromising your vibration.
Clarity is high vibe. Confusion is low vibe.
The other day a client beautifully expressed the difference: In clarity we feel confident, certain, energized. In confusion we feel insecure, uncertain, de-energized.
Sounds about right, doesn’t it?
When you don’t know, you are wobbly in your vibration. When you are confused, you leak energy.
Now you might think confusion is a natural state, especially if this is something you feel on a frequent basis. I want to offer that confusion is not a natural state of being and you might benefit from being less willing to be in a state of confusion.
“It is natural for you to soar. It is natural for you to feel elation. It is natural for you to feel clarity and vitality and certainty. In other words, it is natural for you to feel good. And you will always feel good unless you hold your attention upon something that does not allow your vibration to be there where it belongs.” —Abraham
Clarity feels good. Confusion feels bad. When Abraham says it is natural for you to feel good, it is natural for you to feel clarity.
Clarity about what you want. Clarity about the way forward. Clarity about who you are. It is natural for you to experience this feel-good clarity.
Clarity is what nudges you to go over there. Clarity is what inspires you to talk to that person. Clarity is what prompts you down the path of least resistance.
Of course, many of us have experienced the opposite of feel-good clarity, which comes in the form of low-vibe confusion.
And for some of us, this feeling of confusion is the norm of what we experience.
Let’s go back to that earlier description of clarity as feeling confident, certain, and energized. You want to feel those, right? Confidence feels good. Certainty feels good. Being energized is a wonderful way to feel.
“Clarity! That is the biggest prize you are looking for. To feel clear and sure and stable—that is really what you desire.” —Abraham
In the past you might have underestimated—or perhaps never really considered—the great value of clarity and how much you desire to feel this way. You might not even have labeled the feeling you were after as “clarity”, but that is, indeed, the feeling you’ve been wanting.
“Clarity is alignment. Clarity is a clear impulse of where to go. Clarity is trusting the path. Clarity is not standing in a wobbly place. Clarity is that momentum that has no resistance, and when you’re in that place of clarity, the feeling of what to do next is right there.” —Abraham
I’m sure you’ve had moments when you experienced this clarity, this alignment. Where you felt the impulse, you trusted the path, you experienced the momentum.
There is such ease when we are aligned with clarity. The next step is clear, what to say is clear, what to do or not do is clear.
“Clarity is momentum that has no resistance in it.” —Abraham
Of course, most of us have experienced the opposite—the confusion. As in, not knowing what to do next. The next step unclear. Being overwhelmed by all the choices as you stand in a wobbly place. There is resistance in confusion, but no clear path. Doubting yourself, doubting the Universe.
As I said, confusion does not feel good.
You definitely want to clean confusion up and out of your vibration. To help you do just that, I want to share four red flags related to confusion.
First, is what I touched on at the outset: I don’t know.
Let’s say I ask one of my clients her preference about something—perhaps her preference about work or where she lives or the kind of mate she wants. I ask about a preference, and her answer is, I don’t know.
Now keep in mind I’m not asking the factual answer to a question like, At what temperature does water boil? or What is the capital of Norway? No, I’m asking about preference, about desire.
It’s absolutely OK not to know the capital of Norway—and to say I don’t know, but it is a red flag when you answer I don’t know about your own preferences and wants.
When your answer is I don’t know about what you want and like, there is confusion in your vibration.
I encourage you to simply start noticing when you say or think I don’t know. You may be amazed how often you indulge in this type of confusion.
The next red flag of confusion is about decision-making.
This is a common way confusion shows up that stems from believing there is one right answer.
I’ll share an example of how this might sound: I’m so confused about whether to take the job offer from another company in a new city. I’ve been at my current employer for so long. I’m comfortable where I work and live. I’m comfortable with my colleagues and the work itself. But I also feel I’m in kind of a rut. The new offer is for more money and it could be exciting to be in a new city and start fresh. There’s the appeal of the actual type of work I’d be doing. But what if I don’t like all the change or have trouble finding a social life. I’m so confused about what to do.
When you believe there is only one right answer and you don’t know which one it is, the resulting emotion is confusion. Along with this type of confusion often comes a feeling of doubt and a lack of confidence. This kind of confusion can create a lot of momentum in the direction of more and more confusion.
Before my obsession with all things Law of Attraction, I admit that I used to indulge in confusion. Oh I’m so confused. What should I do? Should I choose path A or path B? Do I want to do this or do that? Which is the right answer?
Of course, when I fed one confused thought with another, I often got momentum in the direction of confusion. Just like when we complain and that attracts more into your life experience to complain about, when you indulge in confusion, there is just more and more uncertainty, less and less confidence.
These days I pretty much refuse to indulge in confusion. That doesn’t mean I know the way forward from A to Z sitting here today, but I trust following what feels good will align me with the clarity I want, which means I won’t be in the vibration of confusion.
If something comes into my life experience and I don’t pretty quickly know what I want or the right answer for me, then I don’t create resistance by pushing for clarity. I allow the clarity to come.
Here’s a third red flag: Sometimes we move quickly into confusion when we focus on the specifics of what we want before we truly have clarity.
We can also fast forward into confusion when we focus on the how of what we want. How will it happen? How will I get what I want.
The key to clarity is to stay out of the how and to focus on the essence of what you want rather than getting too specific too quickly if specific is not flowing.
“Focus on the essence of what you want. This opens the path to clarity. If you can find general clarity, LoA will bring you specific clarity.” —Abraham
The essence of what you want can take two forms. One is to simply be more general about what you want. Stay general where you likely do have more clarity. The other essence, though, is even more essential and that is about how you want to feel.
You may not yet have clarity about the career you want, but you likely do have clarity about how you want to feel in your work. So start there with the essence of how you want to feel.
Abraham is saying when you find general clarity—and that clarity will, of course, feel good to you and indicate alignment—and from there you will attract circumstances and conditions, people and events, situations and things that are a match. Specific clarity will come to you.
What is the essence of what you want? Go general. Focus on how you want to feel. That’s how you tap into clarity.
The final red flag I want to highlight is confusion that comes when you focus on others.
Specifically, you might also be in the vibration of confusion because you’re focusing on what others are doing or what others are thinking or expecting.
“The secret of the Universe really is minding your own business. What we mean by that is: Don’t get so involved in the desires or beliefs of others that you cause confusion or chatter in your own vibration and compromise your own alignment.” —Abraham
Have you been causing confusion or chatter in your vibration by not minding your own business?
Now you might initially bristle when I mention minding your own business. Probably none of us wants to think we are not minding our own business.
But, this is an absolute game changer. I’ve experienced it in my own life and many, many clients have had a similar experience. When you mind your own business, you radically clean up your vibration.
If I start looking at what other coaches are doing and feel confusion and chatter in my own vibration, whoa! That’s not minding my own business. I am most definitely compromising my own alignment, which means I’m not going to allow and attract what I want.
Mind your own business when it comes to what others are doing. Mind your own business when it comes to what others are thinking. Mind your own business when it comes to the expectations of others.
When you do this—when you mind your own business—you will be able to lean into your own true-for-you clarity.
“I allow my mind to relax and be at peace. Clarity and harmony are within me. All is well.” —Louise Hay
Clarity is within you.
If you have been living with confusion on a regular basis, this really a wonderful opportunity to clean up your vibration.
Be on the lookout for warning signs that you are leaning into confusion. Let me recap the four I shared:
- If you find yourself saying or thinking I don’t know when it comes to your wants and preferences, that’s a red flag. Don’t indulge in I don’t know. Tap into your intuition, your inner knowing. Don’t even give yourself the option of not knowing what you prefer or want. Assume that you have the answer within you. That mindset alone can take you in the direction of clarity.
- If you find yourself thinking there’s only one right answer, only one right choice, only one right path—and you are feeling confusion about what that one right one is—that is another red flag. Shifting your mindset around decision-making will allow you the clarity you seek.
- If you find yourself confused about the specifics of your desire or confused about how to get what you want, the key is to go more general and focus on the essence of what you want. Focusing where you do have clarity will feel good and will allow and attract more clarity about the unfolding you are wanting. The specifics and the how will be revealed.
- One of my favorite ways to move from confusion to clarity is to mind my own business. The moment I mind my own business, I feel so much more aligned with clarity. The same will be true for you. When you stop leaking energy by not minding your own business, so much will come into focus. You will feel more clear, more grounded, more confident, more energized.
Remember: Confusion is not your natural state of being. Clarity is. So when you find yourself feeling confusion, pause, and do the thought work necessary to allow the clarity that is within you.
