How do you think about what you want to manifest? How do you ask for what you want?
- Are you demanding?
- Are you controlling?
- Do you micromanage?
- Are you short-sighted?
I’ll bet your first reaction is to say no to all the above. No, Jennifer, I’m not demanding or controlling.
But I’ve been noticing this: Many of us are all those things when we ask for and think about what we want to manifest.
And so we ask the Universe for what we want and it goes something like this:
Hey Universe, I want to manifest this thingamabob and only this thingamabob. You heard me, right? Exactly and precisely this thingamabob is what I want. Nothing else will do.
Oh, and here’s the specific timeline and my firm deadline for the manifestation. And just to be clear, things need to unfold exactly this way, not in any other way.
And one more thing: I’ll need you to send me signs along the way and pretty much do that on my command.
Now I’ll be monitoring this manifestation, and just so you know, I’m going to be hypervigilant to make sure it’s actually manifesting according to my specifications. So be prepared for me to look over your shoulder and weigh in on how you’re doing.
Now my example is a bit of an exaggeration, but where do you see yourself in this approach to manifesting?
It’s really kind of funny when you think about it.
The Universe has limitless resources and pathways to connect the dots and bring you what you want. Yet you are telling the Universe the one and only way it’s acceptable to deliver what you want to you.
“The entire Universe is conspiring to give you everything that you want.” —Abraham
So no matter how long you’ve been thinking about what you want and all the different ways you’ve come up with for how what you want could actually manifest—no matter how creative or resourceful or smart or dogged you are—you simply do not have access to the infinite resources and unlimited ways the Universe could bring about what you want.
And yet, we try to control and micromanage the Universe.
Here’s what this might look like: Let’s say you are house hunting and have your heart set on this one particular house. This is the one. This is the only house for you. The only one that will make you happy.
This is the house. It has to be this house.
Then comes the inspection and you find out the foundation is crumbling or all the plumbing needs to be replaced, and the deal falls through. Then what?
Because if you demanded from the Universe: I want that specific house, only that specific house will do, now what?
I’ll give you another example: Your heart is set on a romantic relationship with that one guy you met at the party. And you try to control the Universe by saying: Bring me Bob. Only Bob will do. Bob is the only one I want. My one true desire.
And then Bob doesn’t call back or moves to Argentina or marries Betty, and now what? In your desire for a relationship, you attempted to control the Universe (which never works) by specifying exactly who would be the partner in your romance.
It’s almost like you give the Universe an ultimatum.
I want exactly this in my preferred timing—or else. But what does the “or else” really amount to? It amounts to what you want not manifesting.
“As long as you are feeling discomfort within anything, you’re holding yourself in a vibration where all of the things that you have conjured, and all of the things that you have let the Universe know that you want, cannot flow to you.” —Abraham
I want you to consider this: When you demand and micromanage and try to control, you feel discomfort. There is unease within you when you don’t trust the Universe.
Which means when you try to micromanage and control the Universe instead of trusting in its genius, you cut yourself off from the very things you want to achieve, acquire, and experience.
In his book Spirit Means Business, Alan Cohen says:
“After you have asked, leave space for the universe to give you something even better, perhaps different from what you have asked for. When you insist from ego, you may set yourself up to miss a superior alternative. Complete your prayer, affirmation, or request with ‘this or better.’ You will be amazed at how cleverly the universe knows how to provide for you in ways you could not anticipate.”
Here are three highlights to keep in mind:
- Leave space for the Universe. Ask for what you want in a way that leaves room for the Universe to delight you, to deliver the superior alternative. So my question to you is this: Are you leaving space for the Universe to give you something even better, albeit different from what you’ve asked for?
- You are missing out on the vast resources and infinite wisdom of the Universe when you insist on what you want from ego. Now, you can interpret that part about ego in different ways, but for me it comes down to this: While I am grounded in my own worthiness and my own wisdom, I trust the Universe is tapped into a knowingness beyond me. It’s a knowingness I can access and benefit from if I am truly open to receiving—rather than only open to receiving what I want in a fixed and singular way.
- This last part is the golden nugget: When asking for what you want, add “this or better”.
- I want to grow my side hustle so I can leave my full-time job or something better.
- I want to manifest the trip to Bali or something better.
- I want to make more money by getting a raise at work or something better.
Feel the energy of those three little words at the end—or something better. I want this or something better. Including those words changes everything. It gives the Universe room to maneuver and deliver. It allows for serendipity and flow. It introduces a lightness and expansiveness to your desire that has a much greater energy of co-creation rather than Hey Universe, here’s my list of demands. Get on it!
“This or something better now manifests for me in totally satisfying and harmonious ways, for the highest good of all concerned.” —Shakti Gawain
When you trust the Universe to deliver in its time and its way, you will very likely be delighted and amazed.
You will be provided for in ways you couldn’t even have imagined.
I don’t know about you, but the anticipation of that makes me a little giddy. It’s exciting! It’s a much more relaxed approach to manifesting. And that’s because you’re not trying to control and micromanage how things unfold.
It’s really this simple: You can’t be relaxed and at ease when you are being controlling—that’s true about manifesting and when it comes to living life! Here’s how I think of it: Relaxed equals receiving. Plain and simple.
Too many of us are simply not open to receiving something different from what we asked for. We are fixated on a very singular idea of our desire, and are not open to receiving the “or something better”.
But different doesn’t mean less than. I’ll share a personal example.
For years I wanted a speaking career and envisioned speaking to large crowds. If you’d asked me why I wanted a speaking career, I would have said to have a bigger impact. The idea of sharing a message beyond a one-on-one exchange was really exciting to me.
Over the years I continued to have that desire, but the reality of traveling to speaking gigs, schlepping gear, being away from home, dealing with all the logistics just didn’t appeal to me. In theory, yes, but not the reality of it.
While I did a few speaking engagements here and there, the desire to have that sort of larger impact didn’t manifest.
Until that is…my intuition lead me to create a podcast. Lo and behold, from the comfort of my home in downtown Ann Arbor, I impact thousands every Monday with a new episode of Love Your Life + (with) Law of Attraction.
To date, there have been 175,000 and counting unique downloads of this show. When a new episode releases each Monday morning, thousands download it.
I receive emails every week telling me what an impact the show has had—impact as in someone feels better and is manifesting more easily, someone is thinking on purpose and feeling empowered to create a life she loves.
I am having the impact I wanted to have and sharing my message with thousands.
And the Universe delivered this manifestation to me in a way I never imagined. In fact, in a way I initially rejected. Which totally makes me laugh now!
When my intuition said Jennifer, a podcast is next, I hesitated. Because a podcast did not sound like a good idea to me. It sounded way too far outside my comfort zone and like way too much work.
But I had asked for impact as a speaker on a stage—or something better. And better is, indeed, what I received!
My podcast is absolutely the most fun thing I’ve ever done in my business. Creating the show is always high vibe for me, something I look forward to each and every week. The show serves as a kind of container where I continue to learn about Law of Attraction, experiment with LoA in my own life, and really delight in sharing what I’m learning with you so you can manifest what you want with more ease.
I am a big believer in the “or something better”.
Because I trust the Universe has my back and is so creative and resourceful and loving in what will ultimately manifest for me.
“The Universe knows the perfect timing for all those things you want and will find, through the crack of least resistance, the best way to deliver it to you.” —Abraham
I believe that is exactly what happened for me with my original desire for a speaking career and the actual manifestation of this show. The Universe found the crack of least resistance to give me the even better version than what I’d asked for. Or as Alan Cohen would say, the superior alternative.
“I let go of my need to control and allow the Universe to do her thing.” —Gabby Bernstein
There’s this idea that whatever components are necessary to bring about your desired manifestation, those components are available to the Universe.
I think it’s useful to check in with yourself. Do you believe that?
Because if you don’t, you will meddle and interfere, you will micromanage and control, you will try to effort your way to what you want. And that will introduce all kinds of friction in your vibration…and delay or derail the very thing you want.
“If you have the ability to imagine it, or even to think about it, this Universe has the ability and the resources to deliver fully unto you.” —Abraham
My first encouragement is line up with the belief the Universe can deliver what you want.
Because the moment you line up with this belief, you can release any need to demand, control, and micromanage—and right away you’ll feel more relaxed. When you trust the Universe, you can actually enjoy the journey to what you want.
“The key to serenity is trust the Universe has your back.” —Gabby Bernstein
Next, I encourage you to bring a lighter, more relaxed attitude to manifesting.
When you ask for what you want and when you think about what you want, use the phrase: I want this or something better.
I want this or something better is filled with optimism and positive expectation. It’s open to possibility and divine timing.
It’s not demanding or controlling. It recognizes that all the ways you can envision what you want manifesting may not be nearly as magical as what the Universe has in store for you.
It’s also helpful to embrace this from Abraham: “Relax and let the Universe pick the time and the way.”
Again, we have the notion of relaxing. Relaxing into receiving. Relaxing as the precursor to receive. Relaxing as the pathway to what you want.
“When something really really really matters to you, let it go! Say to the Universe: You know what I want. Give it to me in the path of least resistance. Give it to me the easiest way possible. Give it to me in any way I can get it.” —Abraham
Ask for what you want and let it go. Ask for what you want or something better and relax. The Universe does, indeed, have your back.