Not long ago Hans and I were at the mall on a Saturday to have lunch. I’d been looking forward to the outing all week.
Well, somehow we got our signals crossed. Hans was thinking lunch and no shopping. And I was thinking lunch and lots of shopping.
I’m sure you know where this is headed… The difference in wants and expectations started to create friction, each of us wanting our own way.
Goodwill is gone
Hans says we’ll stay and shop, but I can tell he’s not enthusiastic about the idea. Well, I want shopping plus enthusiasm, so I’m pouting a bit. Now there’s tension, goodwill is gone.
We end up leaving the mall rather abruptly to head back home. We’re sitting side-by-side on the bus, not talking, both in our heads justifying our irritation with the other person.
As I’m sitting there, fuming and feeling hurt Hans didn’t realize how much the afternoon meant to me, I’m seeing the rest of our Saturday slip away as we retreat to our own corners, being civil with each other, but distant.
Of course I knew it would eventually blow over. But in the meantime, there’d be this negative energy in the air.
But I was also sure I was right and Hans owed me an apology for putting the kibosh on my afternoon plans. So, I’m sitting there on the bus feeling cross and disappointed.
Reach for better-feeling thoughts
And suddenly… I remember what I’m supposed to do: Reach for the better-feeling thought, Jennifer. Reach for a better-feeling thought.
I’ll admit, at first I don’t even want to. As silly as it sounds, I didn’t want to think a better-feeling thought because I wanted to be “right” more than happy. I didn’t want to feel better!
Of course, that’s not really true. I want to be happy. I want to feel better.
But at that point, I’m in the middle of the emotional scale, hanging out with frustration, irritation, and disappointment.
Moving up the emotional scale
So I start trying to climb up the emotional scale, with my thoughts. With each thought, I tried to see if there was some relief. Here are some of the thoughts I wrote down:
- I could have reacted differently.
- Allow others to be who they are.
- It’s not personal. You don’t have to make it personal.
- Making a mountain out of a molehill doesn’t feel good.
- Feeling good and happiness are what’s important.
- Today is too precious not to feel good.
- Forgiveness is flow.
- We’ll get back on the same page eventually, why not now.
- Connection is a blessing.
- I want to have a great weekend of fun and togetherness and love.
- Sometimes going first is an act of love, big time.
- Wanting to feel good is a FANTASTIC thing.
- He needs lots of love, just like I do.
- Maintaining my vibration of appreciation is up to me.
- Unconditional love has no conditions.
- It’s a beautiful day and we’re so blessed.
- Hans loves me very much.
And you know what?! By the time I climbed that ladder of better-feeling thoughts, I was in such a loving, feel good place that I couldn’t even really remember what the big deal had been.
Creating my own reality
I was in such a different feeling place than I’d been at the mall and on the bus ride home. The residue of negative emotions was gone.
So, I was in this great feeling, loving, joyful place. And I had done it all without needing Hans to do anything! I didn’t have to wait to feel better when he apologized. Or when time passed.
I created my own reality by reaching for better-feeling thoughts. Thoughts that gave me relief. I climbed right up the emotional scale from frustration, disappointment, blame, and irritation up to joy and love and appreciation.
I felt like a rock star! I finally realized the power of managing my emotions and was now equipped with a simple way to do just that. I changed my thoughts, which meant my point of attraction changed. Then Law of Attraction responded and Hans and I had the best weekend.
You can feel better now
So here’s your takeaway: Nothing outside you has to change for you to feel better. You can feel better right now because you have the power to choose thoughts that feel better.
Now, you might have to try out a number of thoughts like I did to find the better-feeling ones. You don’t have to do this perfectly. You just have to reach for a thought, try it on, and see if it offers some relief. And then do it again. And again. Climb up that emotional scale.
When joy is really important to you, you won’t allow yourself to focus on things that don’t feel good. It’s really as simple as that.
Starting today: Practice reaching for better-feeling thoughts.