Here’s what I’ve noticed: Many of us create friction in our vibration when it comes to making decisions. This commonly happens in a couple ways. Listen and see if you can identify with one or both.
The first way you might be creating friction in your vibration around decision-making stems from the belief that there is one right decision.
Now, if there is only one right decision, it follows that it’s very important for you to figure out what that decision is. With this belief, you put yourself under tremendous pressure to figure out the one right decision.
- Perhaps you do this with an exhaustive list of pros and cons.
- Perhaps you do this by asking friends and family for advice about what you should do.
- Perhaps you do lots of research, believing enough information will create a lightbulb moment and clarify the right decision.
Regardless of which approach you take—or perhaps you combine all three—the point is you are efforting to land on the one right decision. The journey to that decision—with the pros and cons and advice seeking and unending research is not particularly enjoyable—but you believe this is the price to pay in order to land on the right decision.
The second way you might be creating friction in your vibration around decision-making has to do with delaying the decision altogether.
Now this one can go both ways—in that a delay can be a positive or a negative when it comes to your vibration. I’ll talk more about that difference in a moment, but for now let me say when you delay making a decision, that delay can sometimes create friction in your vibration.
That’s because often when you delay making a decision, you leak energy. It’s draining to have a decision-yet-to-be-made hanging over your head. Your mind returns again and again to the decision to be made.
It’s a closed loop in your mind of I-need-to-decide-but-can’t-decide. You delay deciding, hoping to get some relief from not making a decision, and yet the very act of not deciding is causing you angst and uneasiness.
I’ve just described two common sources of friction around decision-making: Believing there is one right decision and delaying making a decision.
While friction is not explicitly listed on the emotional scale, I personally put it right in the middle around frustration, irritation, impatience, and overwhelment. The point being: Friction does not feel good and friction doesn’t attract anything you want.
When it comes to making decisions, getting rid of friction in your vibration begins with thought work. No big surprise there, right? Because your thoughts cause your feelings. So if you are feeling friction, then it’s being caused by the thoughts you are thinking.
Let’s take both these decision-making friction types and see how thought work could raise your vibration.
We’ll start with the first one: The belief that there is one right decision you need to land on. That is a belief. Sure, you can believe there is only one right decision and you’d better figure out what that right decision is—or you can choose to believe otherwise. It’s up to you.
What if you were to choose to believe there isn’t one right decision? What if there is good stuff along whatever pathway you pick, whichever choice you make?
“Make a decision and then make the decision right. Line up your Energy with it. In most cases it doesn’t really matter what you decide. Just decide. There are endless options that would serve you enormously well, and all or any one of them is better than no decision.” —Abraham
Abraham doesn’t put pressure on you by reinforcing the belief that there is only one right decision. In fact, quite the opposite as Abraham says there are endless options that would serve you enormously well.
Isn’t that a relief to know?
Believing there are endless options that would serve you enormously well feels expansive, doesn’t it? It feels like flow instead of friction. There is an ease to this belief versus the struggle and constraint of believing there is only one right decision.
Law of Attraction says you always want to be headed in the direction of ease.
- The belief there is one right decision and you must figure out what it is is away from ease.
- The belief there are endless options that would serve you enormously well is headed toward ease.
Know this: What you attract and create from ease is going to be very different than what you attract from friction.
So before you even make a decision—about anything, here’s the real work. You can think of this as your LoA pre-work for decision-making.
Here it is: Embrace the belief that there are endless options that would serve you enormously well. When I say “embrace the belief”, what I mean is decide to believe, choose to believe.
Have no doubt: What you believe is a choice.
So do you want to believe in one right decision—and live all the pressure that comes with that? Or do you want to believe in endless options that would serve you enormously well, a belief that offers you ease and flow, a thought that feels like freedom and empowerment?
The second way you could be introducing friction into your vibration around decisions has to do with timing. Specifically, by delaying a decision.
For instance, putting off making a decision until you poll a few more friends or revisit your list of pros and cons to try to figure out what to do.
On a side note: When you choose to believe there are endless options that would serve you well, it actually paves the way for less delay around making decisions. So these two sources of friction are often connected.
But let’s talk about the timing of decisions and about the friction that can come with delaying a decision.
“When you’re having trouble making a decision you’re making it too soon.” —Abraham
Oh, now wait a minute, right? Abraham is saying that you could be making a decision too soon. But how does that jive with what I said earlier—that sometimes you introduce friction in your vibration because you delay a decision?
Well, there is some nuance here, so let’s sort it out.
When you intentionally delay making a decision, that is a sort of decision. If I decide not to decide right now, if I decide to wait a few days to decide, if I decide to take making a decision off my radar, well, then that is a decision.
If I then line up with that decision to postpone making a decision, I don’t feel friction. In fact, I can feel quite good about not making a decision when I line up with that course of action.
Here’s the takeaway: It’s not making a decision or delaying a decision that is the issue. The issue surfaces when you don’t line up with your choice of action or non-action.
Remember Abraham says “Make a decision and then make the decision right.”
When I’m faced with a decision, I believe there are many positive possible options. My intention is to decide intuitively. So I check in with my intuition. And if a decision doesn’t flow, if I’m not feeling inner guidance or an inner knowing, then I line my thoughts up with not deciding.
I don’t beat myself up for not making a decision. I don’t think thoughts of pressure or scarcity. I don’t should myself about deciding. I don’t think thoughts about delaying a decision that cause me to feel negative emotion.
Instead, I embrace the so-called delay. I align with the decision not being known, not being made at this time.
I don’t make not making a decision mean something that causes negative emotion in me. Instead, because I have aligned with not deciding, I feel neutral or even positive emotion.
The pre-LoA version of me was way too willing to struggle with decision-making—both in terms of the process of deciding and with how I felt after a decision had been made.
Well, no more. Now, ease is the overarching feeling I want to have. Ease and peace.
I now make decisions from a belief there is no one right decision, but many possible pathways that offer positive experiences.
These days I don’t suffer or struggle when it comes to decision-making. This means if I put off making a decision, I’m at peace and aligned with that delay. And if I make a decision quickly, I’m at peace and aligned with that speed.
My point is: Whether I make a decision now or decide not to make a decision at this time, I align with that action—or non-action.
This is how that looks in real-life: If I postpone making a decision about something it’s not because I haven’t written my list of pros and cons or surveyed friends or done my research. If I delay making a decision, I do it with the energy of intention and alignment, not should-ing myself or running a loop of thoughts in my head of I-should-decide-but-I-can’t-decide.
“Make a decision and line up with it. It’s the lining up with the decision that’s responsible for the wellbeing, not necessarily the specifics of the decisions that you lined up with.” —Abraham
Too often, even after we make a decision, we don’t line up with it.
Not lining up with your decision could take many forms, such as:
- Should I have chosen differently?
- Mary thinks I should have decided X instead of Y. Is she right?
- What if I had chosen differently?
- I worry the other option would have been better.
- I chose A, but am still thinking about B and what might have been.
Notice Abraham says it’s the lining up that’s usually more important than the actual decision you made.
So pick A or pick B, and line up with your choice. Line up with the decisions you make.
- Decide to accept the new job offer or decide to stay with your current company—and then line up with your decision.
- Decide to stay on the dating sites or decide to get off them—and then line up with your decision.
- Decide to start fresh in a new city or decide to start fresh in the city where you currently live—and then line up with your decision.
Pick Door #1 or Door #2—or any of the many other doors—and line up with your decision.
“For good-intentioned people making decisions, there’s no such thing as a bad choice. So it doesn’t matter what you choose. Choose something, then deliberately line up with the choice you make. This is the art of alignment and allowing.” —Abraham
When Abraham says “choose something”, how do you actually do that? How do you choose? Well, I would say choose intuitively. How do you make a decision? Intuitively.
Many of us make intuition out to be this mysterious and often inaccessible thing. It doesn’t need to be that way. What if making decisions intuitively simply means:
- Go inward.
- Ask for guidance.
- Follow your inner guidance.
That’s it. That’s intuitive decision-making in a nutshell. That’s what it means to choose something.
Now before you tell me you are not intuitive, I encourage you to pause and embrace this is a new day. Perhaps in the past you had trouble going inward or hearing your own inner guidance. But today is a new day. In this present moment you can create anew.
Being open—and I mean really open—to the idea of tapping into your intuition in order to make decisions is the first step in actually being able to tap into your intuition. Another way to say that: It does not serve you to believe you are not intuitive.
Choose to tap into your intuition. Choose to do so with ease. Choose to build this skill and become increasingly fluent in communicating with your intuition.
Also, here’s something I’ve noticed. Perhaps it’s only me or perhaps it applies to you, too. I hear my intuition much more readily and easily when I am in a good-feeling place. My experience is that when I’m in alignment it really opens the channel to communicate with my intuition.
So get in alignment. Get in a good-feeling place. Then go inward, ask for guidance, listen, and follow the guidance you receive. Boom—decision made.
And then, of course, as Abraham says, line up with the choice you made.
“Make a decision about what you want, focus your attention there, and find the feeling place of it—and you are there instantly. There is no reason for you to suffer or struggle your way to or through anything.” —Abraham
How do you make a decision? Intuitively. How do you make the decision right? By the thoughts you think.
I would love for you to be someone who feels ease making decisions. The so-called big ones and the small ones. I would love for you to identify as someone who is good at making decisions.
I often have clients who say, I wish I were more decisive or I’m just stuck when it comes to making this decision.
If that is a familiar sentiment, here are a five way-pointers:
- Choose to believe decision-making comes easy to you.
- Embrace the belief that there are endless options that would serve you enormously well.
- Make decisions intuitively and easily.
- Choose to be in alignment when you delay making a decision.
- Align with any and all decisions you make.
“Make a decision and then make it right. There just are no wrong decisions.” —Abraham