The contrast of life causes you to ask. I want this. I don’t want that.
You’re asking all the time. And that’s a good thing. It’s inevitable and happening without effort on your part. Your life experience simply causes you to ask.
It’s a beautiful, beautiful thing. In fact, it’s part of the human experience I think is so precious.
But many of you are asking, asking, asking—and it’s preventing what you want from manifesting. Because there’s a potential downside to all this asking—a blind spot, a hidden pitfall.
And here it is: The asking is not what causes what you want to manifest.
Asking is a critical step, for sure, but it’s only half the equation. What’s necessary for manifestation—for what you want to actually show up—is Allowing.
So let’s look at what typically happens.
There’s something you want. A goal you want to achieve. A shiny penny you want to acquire. An experience you want to have.
You really really want X. And so you ask. You let the Universe know. I want X.
And then… you keep asking. You keep asking and asking. You keep asking by thinking about what you want and talking about what you want.
But—and this is important—you do so from a place of the absence of what you want. Of doubt about it happening. Of worry you won’t get what you want. Of frustration is hasn’t yet arrived.
You ask and at the same time are deeply aware of the absence of what you want.
You act as if the Universe didn’t hear you the first time or didn’t understand what you want, so you keep asking. You’re like the little kid in the grocery store repeating over and over: I want. I want.
You stay in that place of asking, of want, and you never move into the step needed for manifestation, which is the step of Allowing.
To manifest what you want consists of just three steps.
Let’s quickly revisit the three steps of the creative process for anything you want to be, do, or have.
- Step 1: You ask.
- Step 2: The answer is given. And luckily, this is not your work. Step 2 is the work of the Universe.
- Step 3: The answer, which has been given, must be received or allowed. In other words, you have to let it in.
So steps 1 and 3 are your work: Ask and Allow. Here’s my question: Are you asking, but not allowing? Does that sound familiar?
I know I was asking, but not allowing. And in a bit I’ll tell you what happened to me.
First though, what is meant by allowing?
Allowing is being in receiving mode for what you want.
- It’s expecting and believing that what you want is showing up.
- It’s vibrating as if your wish has been fulfilled.
- It’s thinking and feeling and acting as if want you want has already manifested.
“Step 3 is …the step whereby you tune the vibrational frequency of your Being to match the vibrational frequency of your desire. In the same way that your radio tuner must be set to match the frequency of the broadcasting station you desire to hear, the vibrational frequency of your Being must match the frequency of your desire. And we call that the Art of Allowing—that is, allowing what you are asking for.” —Abraham from Ask and It Is Given: Learning to Manifest Your Desires
Asking is easy.
Allowing…well, I don’t think it’s hard. But I do think it’s a new behavior, a new mindset, a new feeling place for most of us.
Which means you can and will get better at Allowing as you practice. You’ll smooth out the rough edges and find a flow state around this critical step to every single manifestation you want.
“If people are not receiving what they are asking for, it can only be that the persons holding the desire are out of alignment with their own requests. There is not shortage. There is no lack. There is no competition for resources. There is only the allowing or the disallowing of that which one is asking for.” —Abraham from Ask And It Is Given Cards
Did you catch that?
If you’re not receiving what you want, it’s because you’re out of alignment with your own request. Which means: Allowing is being IN alignment with what you want.
- If you want to change careers, but worry you’re too old, that’s not allowing.
- If you want to be in a committed romantic relationship, but doubt there are any good men out there, that’s not Allowing.
- If you want to buy a new house, but are frustrated about what’s available, that’s not allowing.
- If you want a more active social life, but turn down every invitation, that’s not allowing.
Let me tell you about getting stuck in the Asking.
This happened in the first months of my obsession with Law of Attraction.
It started in my Creative Workshop where I was asking for things. I was really in flow with my Creative Workshop, and I was loving it! I was data collecting every day, noticing things I want, and bringing them into my workshop.
I was asking, asking, asking. Asking was fun and easy. I’m a natural when it comes to asking. Maybe you are too.
Well, after two or three months of this, I started to notice friction, which came as a surprise.
And at first I wasn’t sure what was going on. All that asking had worked at first. I was vibrating at the high end of the emotional scale, and It felt great!
But then there was friction and resistance. Hmmm…
Well, I dug around a bit to figure out what was going on. And this is what I came to realize: It was the friction of asking disconnected from expectation and belief.
“Your habit of resistant thought is the only thing that ever keeps you from allowing the thing you desire.” —Abraham
See if this analogy works.
Asking disconnected from expectation and belief. Let me upack that.
Every day you put items in the Shopping Cart on Amazon. You know exactly what you want. You’ve made your desire known.
Then you delete the Cart contents before you log out.
- Do you really expect what you want to arrive? No.
- Are you waiting for what you want to arrive? No.
So you go back to asking. You put what you want in the Cart again. You ask. But then, you delete your Shopping Cart contents again.
If you were to do this, for real, on Amazon, you would not believe or expect what you want to show up outside your door. Your Asking would be disconnected from expectation and belief.
So what would Allowing look like in my Amazon analogy? You ask. You put the items you want in the Cart.
Better yet, you put them on your Amazon Wish List and you share the list with your friends and family. And since you have a birthday coming up, you fully expect to receive what you put on your list.
You expect. You believe. You’re ready to receive.
There’s no friction. You don’t just keep asking, asking, asking. You’ve closed the gap between Asking and Allowing. You’ve completed both steps in the creative process that are necessary to manifest what you want.
I was asking in my Creative Workshop—and that was certainly enjoyable. But I wasn’t doing what needs to come next. I wasn’t fully in receiving mode. I wasn’t allowing.
“The Science of Deliberate Creation is a delicately balanced Law; it has two parts: On the one hand, there is the thought of what you want. On the other hand, there is the expectation or belief—or the allowing into your experience—of what you are creating through your thought.” —Abraham from The Law of Attraction: The Basics of the Teachings of Abraham
Receiving mode is lining up with what you want.
For me the easiest way to think about and understand Allowing is this: Allowing is lining up with what you want. And here’s how to line up:
- How will you think when what you want manifests? Think that way now.
- How will you feel when what you want arrives? Feel that now.
- How will you act when what you want manifests? Act that way now.
The bottom line is: You want to be in the thinking, feeling, acting place of what you want as if it’s already here. That is allowing.
Here are 5 tips to help you get better at Allowing.
- Ask with clarity but not repetition. It’s important to be clear about what you want. But there’s no need to ask over and over and over again. That is a sign you’re not trusting in the Universe and not in receiving mode.
- Be clear about the feeling you’re after. When you think about what you want, why do you want it? What’s the feeling you’re after? Because knowing this will help you line up vibrationally with what you want.
- Feel that way now. And this is not hard, so don’t make it hard. Your thoughts drive your feelings. If the feeling you’re after is enthusiasm, what thoughts will allow you to feel that today, right now?
- Allowing comes out of alignment. So feel good. Allowing is not about efforting, trying hard, forcing. Make feeling good a priority because that will put you in receiving mode for what you desire.
- Practice receiving. We probably all know someone who has a hard time letting anyone do for her. Who is all about controlling and directing and fixing and managing. Maybe you are that person. Well, that is not receiving mode. When you’re in receiving mode, the Universe goes out of its ways to surprise and delight you. So practice receiving.
“Unless you are in the receiving mode, your questions, even though they have been answered, will seem unanswered to you; your prayers will not seem to be answered, and your desires will not be fulfilled— not because your wishes have not been heard, but because your vibrations are not a match, so you are not letting them in.” —Abraham from Ask and It Is Given: Learning to Manifest Your Desires