This is a juicy post about money, judgment, alignment and minding your own business.
It all started with a recent coaching session that got me thinking about how we can push the very things we want away from ourselves—without meaning to and sometimes without even realizing it.
So here’s the backstory: I recently worked with a client who is very disapproving of how her best friend is spending money.
Her friend recently received a buyout at work and very shortly thereafter received an inheritance from a relative who had passed away.
So the best friend had come into money.
Now all this was very interesting because my client had been working to improve her own point of attraction around money and abundance.
In the preceding months, she had done significant vibrational tuning to shift away from a long-standing scarcity mindset.
As her coach, I had observed my client’s giant strides in getting scarcity out of her vibration. As examples, she had released a number of limiting beliefs about money. She was no longer offering a vibration of can’t afford, too expensive, not enough, better be super careful about all things money.
On a scale of one to ten, one being scarcity, and ten being abundance, I would say my client has done the work, elevated her LoA practice, and moved up to a solid eight.
My client was dialed into abundance.
She was thinking thoughts of abundance. She was believing in abundance. She was in receiving mode for abundance.
Not only was my client feeling so much better about her relationship to prosperity, but, of course, prosperity was now showing up for her. As she had released resistance to abundance, she was now allowing abundance in.
Abundance was showing up for her in a number of really cool ways. For instance…
- After a multi-year freeze on company raises, my client received an unexpected merit raise.
- She won a $500 raffle after buying a ticket just for the fun of it from someone at her book club.
- My client switched cell phone providers in order to get better coverage and ended up saving several hundred dollars.
- She received unsolicited paperwork in the mail to reclaim 401K money she had with a previous employer.
My point in sharing these examples is my client had started noticing money showing up. She had started to see the real-life manifestations of offering a higher vibration about money.
So everything is going along, and my client is feeling really pleased with how she’s cleaned up her vibration around abundance.
Then…her best friend takes the buyout and receives the inheritance.
And my client finds fault with how her friend is spending and what her friend is spending the money on. The specifics are not important—as in what the best friend is actually buying.
The point is my client was observing her best friend and thinking critical thoughts about what was appropriate—and not. She shouldn’t be spending money on this, that, and the other. My client believes the best friend should be saving and investing more of the unexpected windfall.
My client is having thoughts about her friend’s spending that are causing her—my client that is—to feel negative emotion.
You can probably guess what happens.
My client is no longer offering a positive point of attraction related to abundance.
Instead, my client is now pushing away the very thing she wants for herself. Of course, that’s not her intention but that is nonetheless what’s happening.
“When you find yourself critical of the way anyone has attracted or is using money, you are pushing money away from yourself. But when you realize that what others do with money has nothing to do with you, and that your primary work is to think and speak and do what feels good to you, then you will be in alignment not only about the subject of money, but about every important subject in your physical experience.” —Abraham
We’re going to delve into this quote from Abraham and apply each part to the story of my client.
Now, of course, the point here is not to throw my client under the bus. In fact, she is so thrilled I’m exploring her experience. She’s thrilled to be able to learn even more deeply from her own experience, and she’s so happy at the thought her experience could help others who are similarly focused on what others are doing with money.
So let’s take a closer look, beginning with: When you find yourself critical of the way anyone has attracted or is using money, you are pushing money away from yourself.
The example is about money, but this holds true for anything of which you are critical. When you give criticism, judgment, or fault finding, you receive on the same frequency. You receive what matches criticism, judgement and fault finding.
Being critical of others about anything is not the energy you want to create from. If you are critical of how someone found her mate, let’s say by using a certain dating app, then you are keeping yourself from the very partner you seek.
Law of Attraction 101: What you give, you receive.
You will not attract money by pushing against others who have money—including what anyone else is doing with money.
Abraham goes on to say: But when you realize that what others do with money has nothing to do with you
Again, the example is money, but this true for everything. What anyone else is doing with their money, with their career, with the way they live their life, has nothing to do with you.
Let me say that with even more clarity: What others are doing has nothing to do with you and your vibration unless you think about what others are doing, and therefore include it in your vibrational mix.
Quite simply: What others are doing is none of your business. And if you want to keep your vibration clean, then you want to keep your mind on your business.
When you start thinking you know what’s best for others or what someone else should be doing, you are compromising your own point of attraction.
The quote goes on to say: and that your primary work is to think and speak and do what feels good to you
Love it! Your primary work is to feel good.
It didn’t feel good to my client to be thinking her best friend should be doing this or shouldn’t be doing that. The fault finding and criticism did not feel good to her. The judgment did not feel good to her.
My client’s primary work, my primary work, your primary work is to think and speak and do what feels good to you. Always.
And that means if you are thinking about what others are spending their money on or how they are dressing or who they are voting for or how they are behaving and your thoughts are creating negative emotion in you, stop.
Just stop. Because your thoughts that don’t feel good to you, your words that don’t feel good to you are only hurting you by lowering your own point of attraction.
Let’s finish out the wisdom: When you think and speak and do what feels good to you…then you will be in alignment not only about the subject of money, but about every important subject in your physical experience.
That’s because when you are in alignment, when you are feeling good, you are allowing, you are in receiving mode for all that you want.
And are you feeling good as you think and speak and do? Because that’s key.
- When you think about money, what are your thoughts? And do those thoughts feel good to you?
- When you speak about money, what are you saying? And do your words feel good to you?
- When you take action or inaction around money, what are you doing? And do your actions feel good to you?
For example, if you regularly think, That’s too expensive and feel the negative emotion of discouragement, you have work to do to clean up your vibration.
You are thinking a thought that doesn’t feel good to you. And because you are thinking a thought that doesn’t feel good to you, you are mis-creating, you are disallowing what you want, you are pushing away the good things you want.
With her critical thoughts about what someone else is doing with money, my client realized she was pushing away the very thing she wants, which is peace and ease and freedom around money,
My client now enjoys saying to herself, gently and with love, Mind your own business.
She’s not doing this for her friend. She’s doing it for her own vibration. She’s minding her own business so that she can allow abundance in.
It’s truly amazing when we do mind our own business how much we can instantly clean up and raise our vibration.
Now, of course, you are still on the hook for all the thoughts you are thinking about your own business—because those thoughts may not make you feel good either. My point, though, is simply by minding your own business, you are very likely to significantly raise your vibration and improve your point of attraction.
If you look at others and feel good about your thoughts, then that’s one thing.
For instance, when a fellow coach launches her business and starts attracting clients, I’m thrilled for her. I’m so happy for her success. I believe in abundance. I believe there is enough for all of us. So I feel delighted in another coach’s success. Her abundance doesn’t mean there’s less for me. With these thoughts I can feel good, and I can send high vibes and appreciate that there is more coaching in the world.
But if I look at others and don’t feel good about my thoughts, because I’m criticizing, judging, and fault finding, then I don’t feel good—and I’m lowering my own point of attraction and pushing against the very things I want.
While “mind your own business” might sound too pat, it is really golden guidance.
- Start noticing when you are not minding your own business.
- Start noticing how you feel when you don’t mind your own business.
You’ll start to recognize that all this minding the business of others creates negative emotion in you. And if you want to manifest what you want with ease—which I’m sure you do—you’ll choose tending to your own vibration over minding others’ business.
Let me add one more idea for you to percolate on here. Let’s go back to what my client could have made the best friend’s experience mean that would have felt more expansive, would have felt better.
My client could have made the circumstance of her best friend’s windfall mean she is getting closer to things of a similar frequency. Unexpected money. Freedom around money. Good fortune.
When we encounter something in someone else’s experience that we also want, it means we are getting closer.
Rather than being jealous or judgmental, rather than comparing and despairing, when you see evidence of what you want for yourself, praise it, appreciate it, thank the Universe for the sign you are getting closer.
It means you are in the vibrational vicinity of what you want.
My client was in the vibrational vicinity of what she wanted—the flow of abundance, the experience of abundance, the ease and freedom of abundance. So rather than choose to think thoughts of criticism, she could have been positively giddy at the sign from the Universe.
While my client’s immediate response was different, I’m happy to share that she has since more than turned all this around. She has released the criticism and judgment. She has altogether stopped pushing against what her friend is doing with her money. My client is loving the freedom of minding her own business.